Oh You Mad?

Don't ever be mad at me for something stupid.  And by stupid I mean something that doesn't show me justification for someone to be upset about.  Because I'm just...not going to care.  Like at all.  Actually when I do think about it, it will provide me with a totally humorous thought. People that do this remind me of spoiled little children that don't get their way.  And I've always had fun spiting spoiled children.  The look on their faces is just so hilarious.  So really, thanks for being a rotten little squirt. *wink and the gun*

Two Things...

As I was standing in my bathroom trying to hold my pee because I was greeted with one sheet of toilet paper , I realized something about myself. There are two main traits about me that have driven most of the bad outcomes that I encounter: procrastination and laziness. For the past 3 or so years I haven't been able to keep weight on for anything.  My ideal weight is 113, 114, but I've been chillin at 110 for years now.  For the longest I was trying to figure out what changed, but I think I know now.  My eating habits changed and I stopped dancing.  Yes, the start of the change in my eating habits began when I was depressed over the break up of my first real relationship, but let's just be real, after I got over that my behind just got too lazy to cook on the regular.  And dancing, I've done the research out here for a good school and I've found places.  So why haven't I gone?  Because I'm too lazy to get my behind up and take my ass there or to actually try if I have to audition.  If it wasn't for procrastination and laziness, I'd probably be at least getting ready to enter my second semester of grad school.  But I have every "justifiable" excuse why I couldn't.  For situations like this I sadly need some outside motivation, but that's a different topic, for a different day. Let's stay on topic.  Cyber Monday recently passed and I bought a ton of ish that I didn't even remember until I opened the packages.  Turns out I bought basically two of the same top.  All because I procrastinated and was down to the very last minutes on two different sites before finally submitting my order.  Now I have to spend money to ship back the top I don't want when I got it with free shipping.  Lastly, the reason why I was standing in the bathroom this morning trying to hold my pee...because I procrastinated with changing the freakin roll.  It was down to about 4 sheets all day yesterday.  I knew what was going to happen.  It's time to change all this.  I know it's the end of the year but I'm not one to make resolutions for the new year.  Plus this is something I want to change for the rest of my life.  Do I think I'll see a drastic change in myself any time soon?  No.  Do I think I'll see a drastic change in myself period? No (I've found that in some cases waiting until the last minutes gives me some sort of thrill). But I will say this.  I will change my habits when they hinder me from at least getting in the groove of something, because once I'm there, there's no stopping me.