Two Things...

As I was standing in my bathroom trying to hold my pee because I was greeted with one sheet of toilet paper , I realized something about myself. There are two main traits about me that have driven most of the bad outcomes that I encounter: procrastination and laziness. For the past 3 or so years I haven't been able to keep weight on for anything.  My ideal weight is 113, 114, but I've been chillin at 110 for years now.  For the longest I was trying to figure out what changed, but I think I know now.  My eating habits changed and I stopped dancing.  Yes, the start of the change in my eating habits began when I was depressed over the break up of my first real relationship, but let's just be real, after I got over that my behind just got too lazy to cook on the regular.  And dancing, I've done the research out here for a good school and I've found places.  So why haven't I gone?  Because I'm too lazy to get my behind up and take my ass there or to actually try if I have to audition.  If it wasn't for procrastination and laziness, I'd probably be at least getting ready to enter my second semester of grad school.  But I have every "justifiable" excuse why I couldn't.  For situations like this I sadly need some outside motivation, but that's a different topic, for a different day. Let's stay on topic.  Cyber Monday recently passed and I bought a ton of ish that I didn't even remember until I opened the packages.  Turns out I bought basically two of the same top.  All because I procrastinated and was down to the very last minutes on two different sites before finally submitting my order.  Now I have to spend money to ship back the top I don't want when I got it with free shipping.  Lastly, the reason why I was standing in the bathroom this morning trying to hold my pee...because I procrastinated with changing the freakin roll.  It was down to about 4 sheets all day yesterday.  I knew what was going to happen.  It's time to change all this.  I know it's the end of the year but I'm not one to make resolutions for the new year.  Plus this is something I want to change for the rest of my life.  Do I think I'll see a drastic change in myself any time soon?  No.  Do I think I'll see a drastic change in myself period? No (I've found that in some cases waiting until the last minutes gives me some sort of thrill). But I will say this.  I will change my habits when they hinder me from at least getting in the groove of something, because once I'm there, there's no stopping me.