Never Have I Ever

...been so damn broke in my life. I was in the red yesterday for the first time ever. I paid my phone bill which would've left me with just enough money to last me to my next pay check next week. Helping a friend out, I deposited his check in my account and the bank teller tells me I have negative funds. Whaaat??? Now last time I checked I had more in my account than what was needed for my phone bill. So I check my transactions online and find out that my freakin roommate just now decided to cash a check I gave her three weeks ago when I was swimming in money. Thank goodness I had to deposit my friend's check or would have never known until it was too late. I transferred some money from my savings to my checking so I'm good now but even my savings account is nothing to wipe ya ass with. Had to ask my dad for some cash...don't really like to anymore 'cuz I know times are rough. Usually I would say luckily I'm getting paid next week but that check is going straight to bills again. Plus I owe my mom like $180, and that goes up $30 every month. There's no way I'm going be able to buy anything just for myself anytime soon. It's going to get cold soon though and I definitely need a jacket. Guess I'll have to hit up daddy again (really don't want to) and Forever 21. ::sighs:: I can't wait until this ends. If this is what the "real world" is like then I want no parts of it.

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

Worst F*CKIN BIrthday Ever

Today's my 21st birthday...can't wait for the next day to come. I should be having the time of my life, doing mad shit that I planned to do. But I'm in North Carolina hating every minute of this day. This was actually the first time I really wanted to do something for my birthday. Every other year I've done nothing really but go out to eat...but that was my choice. But this year was different...at least I wanted it to be. People keep saying I can do what I wanted later in the week. Half the stuff I wanted to do I really can't so that's over for. Wateva...I've been sitting here depressed...and will continue until I get back to Philly tomorrow. Never thought I'd be running back there.

it's been real luvs --->DUECES

::Siigghhhs::

Ummm what's this??? I don't get it....oh Christopher ::sighs::

Thought you guys might want to enjoy a laugh

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

It Just Came to Me

Last night I wrote my first poem in about 2,3 years. I used to write all the time in high school...and usually about the same person. I can't just write just to write; I have to be feeling so much of an emotion that it just comes to me. But for the first time I wasn't sad, I wasn't mad, and I wasn't overjoyed about anything, just felt like writing about myself. I entitled it "Virgo" and described how I fit and don't fit with the usual characteristics of a Virgo. Right after finishing something (I have no idea what) just inspired talk about all the major guys that have come and gone, romantically, in my life. To make it interesting I attempted to use as many Kanye West (I was listening to him all day) songs in the poem as I could. Ultimately I used 30 songs. Some you won't even realize it's a song title unless I point it out. All of the guys are named after songs and the rest are just mixed in there. It's kind of long so sorry about that. But anyway here it is....

~The Good, The Bad, The Ugly~

And so the saga begins outside a church, some years back
He caught my eye interrupting me and his sister's game of Miss Mary Mack.
My first boyfriend, thought he was a keeper, fa sure,
'Til his phone got cut, being shallow said I'm good, no more.
Always out chasin' street lights never to see graduation day,
Now I call him Mr. Flashing Lights 'cuz he got that good ass job working for Kanye.
The next one approached me with a note sent through his big brother,
Weirdly enough they have the same name, same father, but different mothers.
Moved across America and got paranoid, thought I was getting a "Ta, Ta",
But beat him to it, couldn't take the madness, said "Au revoir".
Last time we spoke he was making crack music, said "Baby, we major!"
Gave my congrats but he took me through the wire, maybe some other girl can save ya.
Third on the list is "Roses", named him that 'cuz he's so sweet,
Light as Chris Brown, but not smooth enough to sweep you off your feet.
Loved everything I am and begged me "Say you will too".
I tried but couldn't, felt real bad that he had no clue.
That was one of the coldest winters, ended it a week after Valentine's Day,
But I think he still has feelings for me even to this day.
"Welcome to Heartbreak" is written across the following guy's vest,
Thought he was my Superman, rockin' the "S" on his chest,
Spent every moment we could together, arguably my first love,
Then he broke my heart in two, got to the point where we didn't even hug.
Got over it and we eventually became the best of friends,
But still he has an addiction for my sex, though we agreed that would end.
After him comes "Playa, Playa", the one notorious for not being a good boy,
Met him through a mutual friend, couldn't resist, I needed a new toy.
He runs with those heavy hitters, you know the type, living the good life,
But now and then I keep him at a distance, heard 'em say he's a bit trife.
Stopped talking over a stupid arguement, 'cuz I told him I knew he had a girl,
Now he thinks I want him, but it's the other way around, I'm back in HIS world.
Now this next one I call "Breathe In, Breathe Out",
Smoked so much weed he didn't know his up from down.
Deaded me on some next ish, but he did me a favor now that I realize,
Ran into him a year later, asked me to be his girl, tryna apologize.
Said he wasn't ready back then, he was just scared,
Had to tell my girls about that one, yea, we don't care.
Following that is "Workout Plan", yea that's what I'm calling him,
A bit on the skinny side, dude needs to hit those weights at the gym.
But I'm not writing this to play no one, he was a real cutie,
Everything started out good, which all falls down, that I believe truly.
Started treating me like I was a Robocop, giving me timelines, telling me everything he was doing,
I wasn't really interested, but by then it was too late, the poison was already brewing.
After him is "Gold Digger", who I wouldn't give the time of day in the beginning,
Eventually gave in, thought I was livin' in a movie, had to ask myself, "Am I really winning?"
Then he hit me with the okie doke and asked me for diamonds from Sierra Leone,
Told him "You're clearly out of your mind", he ain't like that so he left me alone.
We're real cool now though, that's my homie, no doubt,
Still every once in a while I have to roll my eyes and say "wow".
Last but not least is "Drop Dead Gorgeous", the best looking one, cross my heart,
But he's always impossible to reach, I knew there was something wrong, I said it from the start.
I wonder how he keeps a girl around long enough to have any kind of fun,
But he's about to get a "Good Night", and I don't mean the type when you wake up together to see the sun.
So that's it in a nutshell, at least the major ones, trust me,
All together I like to call them, "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly".




Let me know if you like it, but "keep in mind that I'm an artist...and I'm sensitive about my shit." lol -Erykah Badu "Tyrone (Live)" Had to throw it in there.



...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

He Wasn't Serious About His Life...Nope

So a friend of mine (Nicole) cooked today and invited another friend over who brought his friend. Now I know this friend, who we'll call Paul, is a tolerable jerk but I didn't know that he was this much of an ass. I offered to help Nicole with the plates but she told me to "sit down I got it." So I take a seat and after a few minutes Paul decides to come out his face and say "Yo Britt, why don't you do something. You need to work on your housewife skills. That's how you keep a man." Excuse me!!!! You don't understand how much fire was in my eyes. I said, "For your information I offered to help Tara but she declined. And I'm not looking for a man like you so I should be fine." He said, "Then that's not a real man." "Oh, that's what you call yourself?" Ever since then his presence was just pissing me off. And Nicole was no help because she thinks he can do no wrong. But this is strike two for his ass. Keep playing around and he's going to get the "outta control treatment". Like I said before, out of control behavior calls for out of control behavior

...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

R.I.P Michael Jackson

I know this is a little late but it still must be done. When I first heard the news I laughed 'cuz I thought some idiot just made up a rumor. Then it was all over the news and by then there was no denying it. But it still hasn't hit me yet. The closest it got to me was during the BET Awards. Janet's face and Neyo and Jamie Foxx's rendition of "I'll Be There" almost brought me to tears. The other day I was listening to Michael all day, dancing and everything; not exactly out of character since I listen to him at least once a day, but I don't remember the last time I danced that much (I still have sore muscles two days later). My aunt (a huge huge fan) put me on to Michael Jackson when I was 6. She had VHS of a compilation of some of his videos, along with "Moonwalker". That summer my cousins and I were in my grandma's living room every day dancing to the "Bad" and "Thriller" albums, taking turns being Michael (good times). Nine times out of ten when I make my playlist there's a Michael Jackson song on it but this time will obviously just be him (and some Jackson Five). It's impossible for me to make a top 10, let alone a top 5 so I left you with a top 20 (in no particular order)...such a hard task. I think my dad said it perfectly, "This is like when Elvis Presley died, people will be denying it for years." But this time is much worse.

R.I.P

MICHAEL JACKSON

"KING OF POP"

and the

GREATEST PERFORMER EVER

THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER

...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

You Clearly Don't Get It

So recently I've been talking to my ex, Aaron, again. Now we're just friends but I'm not exactly sure if he gets that. Last time we chilled he did everything I wanted him to. I actually didn't need him to do anything I asked but I just did it to see what he wouldn't do. For example he asked me if I wanted to lay down (we were on the couch) and I said "yea, if you move over". Of course he moved all the way over and stayed in this cramped little spot so I can have the whole couch and gave me like 3 pillows on top of that. Then he started to lightly scratch my head, I guess trying to annoy me. But I told him that he wasn't annoying me, it just felt good. So he tried to act like he runs things (right lol) and was like "well I'm not doing it anymore". Pleeeeaaase...he's a sucker...I knew he was gonna do it. And guess what? He did again a few minutes later and continued to do it every few minutes. You know why? Cuz he's a sucker. I know this sounds so mean and I really dont' mean to be but he's so damn soft it's annoying. That's why I broke up with him. But that was 4 years ago. I thought he would've grown out of it by now. I'm not even around him now and he's still killing me. Keeps talking about he misses me, he can't wait for me to come back home, and he supposedly is bored without me. Now lemme ask this question. If you continuely keep tellin someone that you miss him or her and all that other stuff and they just bypass that part of the convo REPEATEDLY do you keep saying the same things or just stop? I mean personally I would stop because they're probably dodging it for a reason, like me. Now that I think about it I shut him down nicely all the time so I don't get it. I hope he figures it out soon because I would feel bad cutting him off. : )

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

...So That Didn't Work Out

I recently got this new job in Philly. Sounded really poppin at first. I had the opportunity to make at least $400 a week. Sounds good to me...especially since I'm broke as a mug. The interview was in 2 parts. The first was in the office and took about 15 minutes and they told me that I would get a callback later that day if they wanted me to come back for the 2nd interview. But see that's how they get you. They tell you that out of 30 something people they only call back 6 and obviously I got the callback. Now the 2nd day is what they call and a "day of observation" a.k.a "day of O" where you tag along with an employee all day and observe what they do. They told me it was going to be an all day thing, so I'm thinking we'll be done at like 5:30. Ant wrong...try 8. And then on top of that I had to fill out paper work and what not so I didn't get out of there until 9:30. Mind you the job is in Cherry Hill, which is like 15, 20 minutes away from Philly but with public transportation it's and 1 hr 1/2, so I wouldn't get home until at least 11. Oh! And I got up at 8:30 to make the morning bus. But luckily I got a ride home from this dude Andrew who I had my "day of O" with. So as you can see the hours are crazy. But wait, I didn't even tell ya'll what happened during the day. First of all let me tell you what we have to do. the company works with other companies and does marketing for them. So currently we are working with Power Windows and Siding, which is a home renovation company. Now we basically go door to door asking people if they want to sign up for a free quote for Power Windows and Siding. Every person you sign up you get $50 for. So technically we're not selling anything but yea lol. Now here is where the bad comes in. There was like a stream of gnats on every sidewalk. I got 5 mosquito bites. The damn cops gave Andrew a summons for soliciting (was real racist by the way) and almost gave me one too if it wasn't for that just being an interview. It was hot and my feet were killing me. On top of that my friends didn't want me to do it; now if they hated it you know my parents really did. But regardless of all that the money was making me stay. So now Monday comes along, my first day. I couldn't try to make any leads (signin up ppl) until Andrew got 4. He got the fourth person literally when the rain started so it was over for me. However we did sign up this guy who told us about the internships his company still has open. Boy did I jump on that quickly. I felt like that was a sign to get out of there sooooo I quit lol. Suprisingly the reason wasn't really for any of the bad things I talked about. They don't really like you to take off and I already took off for Saturday because of my cousin's graduation and if I got any interviews I would take off for more days so I just said eff it. So I'm currently unemployed and looking for a job. I applied for 3 other internships so hopefully everything works out.

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Well I'm no longer talkin to anyone anymore lol. This guy texts me yesterday tellin me why he's been acting iffy for the past two weeks. Basically cuz he has "lavish" taste and I won't buy him "gifts" to fulfill his wants. And since I'm not buying this $650 belt and wallet that he wants then he shouldn't have to settle for me. (LMAO) My thing is how can you settle for someone if you haven't been shown everything that he or she has to offer you. Whhhhhatev. I don't think I've ever genuinely laughed so hard over someone deadin me. In fact I've NEVER laughed over someone deciding he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Don't get me wrong I was starting to really like him but he's a spoiled brat and I don't have time for that. I knew he was materialistic but damn. I had to tell him I was laughing at him and that he sounded ridiculously insane...for his own good. Personally I think he sounds like a bitch (excuse my French) though. I talked to his friend, who I also consider a close friend, about it and he said "Yea that's his life". According to my friend, most of this fool's expensive things come from women, but he'll buy something expensive for a girl after a while. After a while is the operative phrase. I have no problem with buying him something after we've been talking for a while but it's only been about a month and a half. Can we be realistic?...just for a second, that's all. You know what I don't even blame him 100%. He's been spoiled his entire life so he's used to getting whatever he wants I guess. As for these girls that are buying him ish, if they haven't been in a relationship with him for a minute then THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL!! But besides everybody else's hand in this he's still extremely ridiculous. After thinking (and crying from laughter) about this for about a day I've come to the conclusion: he's a golddigger. Yup that's it. After the complete b.s. that he had the nerve to say to me I just really want to annoy the mess out of him. To be quite honest I wouldn't mind if we were still friends. I would just remind him about once a week of how much of a ridiculously egotistical brat he is. Coming from a friend, I don't think that would be too mean. Aww man well that's all I have to say about this issue for now.

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

Jaaack!!!

Well first off let me start by sayin the new guy is already effin up so yeeeaaa lol. But anyway on to better things. This past friday was Golden Essence. You could describe it as a 20's style jazz cafe. First of all I took off work early to get ready for this cuz I knew it would take me forever...and forever it did. I had to alter my dress a bit so that took about 2 hours. I meeeaaan I could've been done possibly and hour earlier but one of my friends came to pick up something and I talk too much so there's that much needed hour. By the time I finished the dress another friend, who was coming with me, came by so I could do her hair. So I had to do her hair, figure out what to do with mine, do my makeup, and get dressed. Mind you it was almost 8 p.m. Oh did I mention it started at 7? Yea, just like black people to be late: first jack. We finally leave my room by like 8:30...but I forgot to get the umbrella. Jack! Run back to the room and grab the (wrong) umbrella. (Jack!!) Then get finally get halfway down the street when, dun dun dun, "Wait, where'd you put my ticket?!" "I put it back where I found it!" "Whaaat, I didn't even bring that wallet!" Jack!! So haul ass back to the room again. Ok so now we're walking and my friend drops the bomb that she still has to take out money because she couldn't get it earlier. Jaaack!!! "Ok, ok it's on the way." We possibly got there by 9:15. But guess what folks...they didn't even start yet! I did mention it started at 7 right? Yup, just LIKE black people lol. But hey I'm not complaining, as long as I didn't miss the food. And may I point out that the food was a bit banging...and the iced tea...waaat? lol Anyway, all in all it was a pretty good event. Good performances (well some eh) and the after party was mad fun. I mean it's always a good time when my girls and I are together. Now this upcoming week should be very interesting: a mix of good times (hopefully) and (sighs) finals. And why the hell is it raining all week?!!! JACK!!! Can I at least think about looking nice?!

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

I Can't Believe It Myself

So I'm in the process of having a new boo. Can't say he is the new boo just yet 'cuz we're just got started. However he's already put in more work than the previous one. He actually acknowledges me in public which should happen anyway but because of the previous one it's now become a plus. I definitely laugh a whole lot more too; and you know I love to laugh. He does annoy the shit out of me but most of the time I'm laughing at the same time. I've only known one other person in my life that could piss me off to the point that I wanted to kill them but have me dying from laughter. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm used to getting irritated on the regular, mainly because I'm told it's so easy to annoy me (watever). So if you can piss me off and make me laugh at the same time I plan on keeping you around for a while. But that's not the wierd part. I couldn't stand this guy like a month ago lol. Don't ask me what happened between that month and now because I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. I guess it was seeing another side of him that I actually liked to be around. The parts of his personality that I don't like are still around but I don't intend for him to change. (No point in trying to change a man unless he wants to 'cuz it ain't gonna happen...learned that with my ex.) But the good outweighs the bad and no one's perfect so I just accept it. I mean I probably have more bad than good but someone wants to deal with it so why not return the favor, right? Anyway, I hope this one turns out for the best (crossing my fingers lol).

it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

This is Getting to be Annoying

Keyshia Cole's song "Thought You Had My Back" (2nd verse) basically sums up my entry for the day...quite pissed off about it too. I was convinced for about a month that I was over him. Guess not. Frick! It's sad to say but it's true: the easiest way to get over a guy is to get under another one. Ill that sounds nasty lol (and I'm still doing the celibacy thing) but you get what it means. I need a new guy...apparently "Something New"/Mike isn't doing it for me. Back to the drawing board. ::sighs::

...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

Something New

Yea so I'm at work right now, not doing work lol. My boss left like an hour ago and my task is pretty much impossible to complete for another few months. Plus it's pretty much not even necessary for the deptartment to even have now (finding the high schools of hs freshman for a college team? not necessary right now in my book) right now. But anyway on to the topic. So I apparently have a date this weekend. That's the first new thing since I haven't had one in like...never (unless you count being taken out for my birthday). Now I have three semi crushes or "cuties" as I like to call them: Mike, Alex, and Sean (names changed as usual). I'm actually about to knock Sean off my list because he's...watev. And Alex, I clearly haven't grabbed enough of his attention...I'll get there in due time lol. So that leaves Mike. He definitely threw me for a loop the other day when he asked me out, tried to be real slick with it too. I didn't even dude was attracted to me but hey, works for me. And this is where the title of this blog comes in...he's white. Never had a white boy but always wanted one for some reason (hmm James Franco, Paul Walker, Justin Timberlake...yeaaaa I think that's why lol). My only reservation was I was afraid he was a "white boy" to the extreme, but I've been talking to him and he's a little past the halfway mark (between "Billy calm down!" (white boy accent) and "Chill B")...good enough for me. I might have to break my Trev-Trev's heart. Can't remember if I ever mentioned him before but he's my favorite white guy who I can't tell if he really likes me or not...his words though, "When I say I'm going to marry you I'm being serious" lol (that's me laughing). Well let me not get ahead of myself, Trev doesn't have to know yet. As I'm typing Mike just texted me and asked if I wanted to go to his friend's party. Yeaaa probably not. I have the sudden urge to go bowling though. Hopefully I get my wish. Well it's approaching 5:30 and I'm soon to be off of work. Meeting my girls to go see "Madea Goes to Jail". Yea man, I'm in there like swimwear on sale lol.


...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

Really Though?

So this day has finally come!!! Barack Obama's inauguration as the 44th President of the United States; never thought I would see it happen. (my president is black, my Lambo's blue...) lol. I wish I could have gone down to D.C. to see everything in person but at least I got to see it. And Temple University was highly incorrect if they thought I was attending class today. Personally, I don't understand why class wasn't just canceled period. My first class was during his speech. Ummm yea. My professors better not ask me why I wasn't in class either. What the eff do you mean, "why wasn't I in class?", why were you IN class? I mean I don't doubt there's going to be at least one class where I'll regret not going the first day but so be it. I'd rather regret that I missed the first day of classes for a portion of the semester than regret that I missed the inauguration of the first President that I voted for, the first black President, and most of all the first man to give our country a sense of hope since possibly the Clinton administration, for the rest of my life. Temple U is crazy and sadly mistaken if they thought for a second that that was going to happen. Some of my friends went to class; one even during the inauguration ceremony (she said the class was pack too; what does that meeeeaaaan???). I won't knock them because I understand everyone doesn't hold this day in as high a regard, but as for myself , I was watching all day. (I like the feeling of being there.) I saw on MSN.com someone's reaction to the inauguration saying, "Too much. This isn't the Superbowl." Now you know I respect others' opinions but is this not the same treatment and procession that basically every other President received? The only significant difference is the thickness of the President's (so happy to say that!) car door...for obvious reasons. Perhaps you're in a sour mood because your precious George got booed by the crowd of more than 2 million. Sorry, but not Obama's fault. Another comment was, "History in the making? I don't see it. Just another day on the calender." Hmm perhaps you really don't know what the phrase, "history in the making," means; even a five year old could see why this day is a part of history...I mean unless a black man was elected President before? I don't, wait ::thinking::......yea I don't think that's happened before.

...it's been real peoplez ---DEUCES

Completely Random

People say that if you eat heavy foods late you're going to gain weight. I wonder if it's true or just based on how fast your metabolism is. I eat heavy things late all the time and haven't gained weight, but then again my metabolism is fast, or so I believe. But that makes me think, when I get older will it slow down and all those late night dinners and midnight snacks I had catch up with me?...watev

...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES

Rihanna ft. Chris Brown

I'm sure many of you have heard their new song, "Bad Girl", already so I'm not introducing it, just giving my opinion on it. For those who haven't here's the link. ("http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdkEl7PnGis") Personally I think it sounds like shit on a stick. About as soon as I pressed play I pressed stop, so didn't get to hear the whole song at first. But then I read some comments from the blog I heard it on and 1 out of every 50 were saying good things, so I decided to give it another chance and actually listen to it. It wasn't as bad, sounded like trash on a stick that time. The beat is ill at times. I have no idea what Rihanna is saying during the chorus; her voice is too damn high. In the verses I caught something about her being a shopaholic but that's about it. And Chris Brown rapping? It's a good thing that boy can sing. His rapping ability is the equivalent to a white actress coming out with an album...it was almost inferior. Chris why??? Rihanna also mentioned people jocking her swag...you know, the one her stylists (won't say her per se) "borrowed" from FeFe Dobson, but watev. I'm typically not one to go hard on what singers or rappers say in their songs, but come on "Rih-Rih" really tho? (FeFe in '06)

...it's been real luvs --->DUECES

2009...New Year, New Me

Well let's be real, I'm not going to fully change myself. I can't even fully change my style let alone myself. I guess you can call them my resolutions, those things that I never stick. But this year is different. The first "resolution" is when I agree to hanging out with someone I'm actually going to do it now. You know how you'll see a friend that you haven't seen in a while and he or she will say "we should chill some time"? Yea, well I always say "yea, we should" with no intention on doing so. But so far since '09 started I've been 1-1, very proud of myself too because even that was a stretch. Nowadays every time you turn around someone's passed away or something devastating has happened. I'd hate to hear that about a friend, especially if I said I would chill with them. Don't get me wrong, I know "we should chill some time" can be an automatic phrase when seeing an old friend (I've done it myself) but sometimes people really mean it. Resolution #2: Be less flirtatious. The majority of the time I'm not even trying to be flirtatious; it's just a part of my personality. Recently I could have lost a really good friend because I had to tell him the romantic feelings he had for me weren't mutual. It was hard since he thought he knew for a fact that I was interested in him. This isn't the first time this has happened, just the first time anyone has been so sure. So now I'm going to try to be more aware of my actions. I wouldn't be surprised if I fail with this one because I get comfortable around people quickly. I don't know...we'll see. For the 3rd and final (as of now) resolution, I'm putting the boyfriend rule back into effect. So I'll be celibate for a while but so be it. Sometimes you have to sacrifice to get what you want. ('08 Britt would've said "eff that!") But I'm tired of "talking" to these idiots/jerks...I want a good one. I'm sure you all could relate.

...it's been real luvs (new for '09)---DUECES