Why Aren't You Cocky?

"You and your crew are way too humble"
...I didn't know I was supposed to be otherwise.  Now this is the part where people start to think I have low self-esteem.  Well just so you know, I don't.  But anywho, back to the topic.  Me be cocky? For what?  Technically I don't think I have the right to be cocky.  I don't think I'm bad or pretty, in general, but I do have my moments.  I guess cute fits.  I've been called cute pretty much my entire life.  I used to hate it but I've learned to accept it.  See this is how I look at it.  Everybody can't be sexy, gorgeous, or pretty, and everybody can't be ugly or hideous.  I think I happen to fall in between that, definitely more towards the attractive side though.  But even though I'm completely fine with how I (think I) look I'm still a human and I do need to it be enforced by another every once in a while.  But either way, I think my personality is better than my looks.  And personality, in my eyes, counts a whole lot more.  But even if I did have the "right" I still wouldn't be cocky or conceited.  I think that trait makes people unattractive.  In fact, that's at the top of the list of unattractive characteristics.  Why would I want to purposely make myself unattractive?


...it's been real luvs --->

Oxymoron

"Anything in life that is perfect is the result of a series of mistakes."
                                                                                - unknown

Don't You Ever Get To...

When you get comfortable with a person do you think it's necessary to show the same level of appreciation as you did before?  I do...but maybe that's just me.

Awaiting Intimacy

Never gazed into the eyes of a man I was engaged in intercourse with for more than 2 seconds.  Gazing into his eyes period has rarely ever happened.  Passing that time limit is like inviting him to see a glimpse of my soul and granting him free entrance as often as he pleases.  Well whoever I grant the 5 second mark, I'll be standing at the altar with.



...it's been real luvs --->

Delusions of Grandeur

I have this tendency of thinking I can just switch back to "friend mode" real quick when it comes to a "significant other".  It's like part of me genuinely does not understand that once you cross that line you are not longer JUST a friend.  But there's sometimes when a situation occurs that prompts me to want to get into his (anyone who's been in this spot) head.  I'll say to him, "listen, I'm talking to you as a friend right now".  Even then I know it sounds crazy, especially from a male's perspective.  What woman is going to ask you a question about yourself/your thoughts that will clearly effect your relationship and then say just talk to her as a friend though?  Oh, me.  You know what it is, I talk to so many guys about how they feel about their relationships and the issues that come with it that when it comes to my own I don't fully understand that I have to approach it differently.   This might be one of the missing pieces to me having a successful relationship: someone that understands my nonsensical logic.



...it's been real luvs --->

Possibility

I think I'm alot more self-centered than I let myself believe I am.

Shock

Part of me...actually most of me...was hoping it wasn't you

New Name, Same Place

I decided to change the name of my blog. "*~It's Spelled Brittanee*~" was getting kind of juvenile to me. I've been thinking about changing it for a while, just didn't know to what. If someone asked me to give them one phrase to describe me I would probably say something along the lines of "it's not supposed to make sense". It fits me perfectly. Most of the things I do and say doesn't makes sense, and I know that. That's what makes my life funny to me.  I want to keep the url, though, for the few readers I have.  Don't want them to stop reading  because they didn't know there was a change.  But who knows.  I might just change it back to "It's Spelled Brittanee" soon.  We'll see.



...it's been real luvs--->

Ikea

"The whole candles deal...it's a scam. You burn em, you buy em, you burn em, you buy em." - my uncle Claude

Kanye West Interview on The Today Show

Kanye really gets on my nerves sometimes. The guy acts like everybody's ALWAYS out to get him. After about 2:50 into the video he was starting to annoy me.From the few times I've watched "The Today Show" I can vouch for them playing a video clip while speaking to the guest. He's so damn sensitive and that sensitivity causes him to always be defensive. But for the most part, he gets the same treatment that every artists gets. Yes, there may be some interviews that are geared to defame an artist's character, but the way Kanye acts you would think he's been present for every single one of those. Come on man, people have to walk on eggshells around this dude. And it greatly irritates me because I'm a big fan of his. I'm going to need him to calm down and stop taking things so personal. "But me being a rational, well thought out, empathetic person..." sike, yall know I'm not rational. That's how he should have ended that sentence. There's two different types of people. There's emotionally-driven indivduals and then there's thought-driven individuals. Personally, I might be in the middle, but my man Kanye here, all the way emotionally-driven. If he wasn't he wouldn't do half the ish that he does.



...it's been real luvs --->

Acceptance

After 22 years of wishing I had bigger breasts I've finally realized why they're small...I hate wearing bras.

A Baby's Gotta Do What A Baby's Gotta Do...

Girls, Girls, Girls

Saw this on a friend's Tumblr and thought it was hilarious

Food for thought huh?

Who You Callin A...

Was talking to a friend earlier about how picky he is with choosing friends and that he keeps a only a small circle. Based on the fact that we talk virtually everyday I'd say it's safe to assume I'm on that list. But I jokingly replied "I'm not surprised by that, no surprise I made it tho haha". What his explanation was made me really think (and laugh):

"Well Charles...you're a real bitch...I respect that...and when I say bitch...I mean that with the most respect."

Now I've never been one to accept someone calling me a bitch. I don't even like it when my friends use it as a term of endearment. I always take it to offense. No matter how "flattering" someone tries to make it sound I refuse to be called one. Plenty of people have tried to tell me it's ok to be called a bitch. Yea I know, that's the new "thing" now. But this is my thing...if I tell you I don't want to be called one, don't I have that right? And if you insist on calling me one then I do have the absolute right to get upset. Well anywho, for some reason, this time I just took it as another funny way that a friend described me. But it made me think. Am I getting over this ideal the bitch always has a negative connotation? Probably not. I guess I didn't take it in a wrong way because I'm used to being called a bitch right after an action. At the point in time I hadn't done anything though. I think it was the mystery of the explanation for my new title that made it acceptable. Mystery always intrigues me. I'm sure if he calls me a bitch tomorrow I'll catch an attitude though.


it's been real luvs --->

Waiting for the Call...

That never came

Fear

I'm scared of you because of what we could be and the greatness of it that could be snatched away before my heart can complete one full beat

I'm scared of you because I feel like I could fall in love with you but I don't want to because I'm so scared that there's a possibility of being able to hurt you and I'm terrified that you could easily hurt me without even thinking about it

I'm scared of you because I know that if I give you the chance you can know me better than I know myself

But YOU scare me because you make me want to leave my guard down and look at all my fears with rose colored glasses and have only myself to blame for all the hurt that comes with it

Conversations

Work.
Sex.
Chemistry.
Grandma.
Bus.
Pics.
Gotta remember to talk about all of these whenever I get a call. That's if I don't fall asleep first.

Habits...No Explanation For It

There's a brand new bag a cotton balls on my floor. Been there since I took them out the bag a few hours ago. Will more than likely still be there until I need to open it.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

I've been starting to post some entries that are just quick thoughts. And I'm realizing my signature takes away from the effect of my random thoughts. It's like darting your head into a room just to say a few words. You don't say "bye" do you? (Well maybe you do to be funny...I would) So from now on post 4 sentences or less will have no signature.

p.S. I thought this would be the first without, but of couse I've managed to go over 4. Watevs



...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

p.P.S. "DEUCES" is starting to get on my nerves. Has been for a while, actually, just couldn't think a suitable replacment. But I got it now. I'm going to leave it blank and you put in what ever salutation you're feeling at the moment. So let's try this again.


...it's been real luvs --->

Thought Bubble

Went to Philly this weekend for a friend's birthday. Stayed with him and his boys. During their mini-party one of the girls asked me if he was my boyfriend. I actually paused because I almost said yea. And it was a natual "yea". The pause happened because I started thinking. The pause happened because I started THINKING. They say "think before you act", but should that be applied to everything? Like the L-word. Should it be applied to that? Well for now I'll keep thinking. Thinking is my protection. It was nice to notice what my natural reaction would have been though.



...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES

Couldn't Believe It Until I Saw It

Soooo after 4 months and 2 weeks (give or take 3 days) I finally have cable and internet. My uncle told me Friday that someone from Fios was going to come on Tuesday. No parts of me believed it. Why you ask? Because my uncle called. Even though I'm paying for it, the fact that he was involved anywhere in the equation made me skeptical. I even SPOKE to the cable guy before I pulled out the driveway this morning. Still didn't believe it. The proof that I have it: I'm sitting in my bed typing this (actually a pic of this probably would've been better but no thanks).

On another note...did you vote today???? I did!! And it felt good. Unfortunately the Republicans won most of the House, which means Obama will have a much harder time getting his proposals based. As a result, it's going to look like he's a horrible president. Smh. But I bet we'll (and when I say "we'll" I mean Americans in general) elect Bush again if we (again general Americans) could.


...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES