I'm so mad right now I'm borderline shaking. What's the cause of this anger? My uncle. I physically cannot take living with him anymore. Every other week there's no heat, so unless the oven's on and open, I'm freezing. I'm paying extra money for the phone with my FIOS bill that I didn't find out about until I got my first bill. Normally I wouldn't mind, since I don't pay rent, but it's the principle. You don't put items in people's names without telling them. And he doesn't even use his house phone. But he says he needs it for the fax for this internet company he's trying to start. THAT WAS FOUR WEEKS AGO!!! You know what he's doing now?! Fucking Cash4Gold!!! Are you KIDDING ME?! So you see why I'm mad that I'm paying for a service that isn't needed. Then there's the issue with him using my grandmother's car. Once again he has her car and has taken it over. This is the third car. And this one is brand new. She's only had it for maybe 6 months and he has it 75% of the time...even telling her she can't use it when he needs it. WHAT THE FUCK?! He's not paying ANYTHING on that car. And she's also paying his parking tickets. My grandma isn't working, she gets social security. What kind of grown ass man has his mother paying all his bills while he's doing nothing. It really hit home the last time I spoke to her about it. She looked so sad. And let me make this clear...my grandma never gets sad. This is exactly why I'm losing respect for him. I believe in helping family out, but I'm totally against it when they aren't trying to help themselves first. He uses me to try to get my dad to pay for things, like the heat bill. He even tried to get him to pay for the basement to be renovated. But my dad isn't trying to give him a cent, regardless if I'm living there or not. And I don't blame him...I even told him I don't want him to give my uncle money. If I want to tough it out that's on me. What I really don't appreciate is that my uncle tries to pit me against my dad, saying that I'm his daughter and since I'm living here he should be paying to help me out, nobody told him to have two families. NO that's BULLSHIT! Nobody told my uncle to stop working and walk around with him hand out. If I wasn't living there who would pay these bills huh? So no I'm not trying to hear that shit. This morning though...this morning was the last straw. My dad went out of town so long story short, everybody switched cars around. I got my grandma's cuz my uncle had it and my sister has mine. As I'm driving to work (rushing) the freakin gas light comes on. I wasn't even halfway to work!!! He couldn't have told me there was no gas in the car?! It's just common courtesy. And I'm even more pissed cuz I just PUT gas in my car. Please believe I will be giving him the car back just the way that he gave it to me.
But what no one in my family realizes is that I endure all of this to spare THEIR feelings. I was fine with that up until today. I need to move out and have some talks with a few family members because I can't do this anymore. I refuse to get to the point where my losing weight or my hair is falling out. And I have the GMAT coming up in about a week, I don't need to be stressed right now. Honestly I can count on one hand how many times I've been stressed out like this. If I sit still enough I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!! The only way for me to come down from this high of anger is to do something stupid and impulsive. We'll see how that goes.
...it's been real luvs --->
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