I attempted to type "anything" 6x this week so far (don't know why I remember that) and each time I typed "anyway" first. Just found that kind of interesting.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 28
Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed?
(yes I know it's October...so what...kick bricks)
Well let's start with the literal changes first:
Can't see it that well but I got highlights (hence why my hair looks lighter)
I no longer have that hoodie in the first pic (silently cries to self). It got messed up in the wash. That was my favorite hoodie.
I graduated from college.
Moved in with my uncle instead of going back to live with my mom.
Don't break out as much.
Ok, let's get to the stuff you really care about:
I've come to the conclusion that I possibly need therapy. Watev. It ain't happening.
Love life, I'm alot happier. Got rid "The Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Me", even though he tries to pop up every so often. That was a huge accomplishment.
I think I'm starting to develop feelings. I missed alot more people this summer than I ever have in my entire life. (not a fan of this)
Haven't been in , as my friend Tiffany likes to call it, "A.M" (anger management) mode in a while. But then again I haven't been around nearly as many people. Yea, we won't really count this one.
Can't think of anything else right now but when I do I'll just add it later. You know I don't do anything traditionally.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
September '09
(yes I know it's October...so what...kick bricks)
Well let's start with the literal changes first:
Can't see it that well but I got highlights (hence why my hair looks lighter)
I no longer have that hoodie in the first pic (silently cries to self). It got messed up in the wash. That was my favorite hoodie.
I graduated from college.
Moved in with my uncle instead of going back to live with my mom.
Don't break out as much.
Ok, let's get to the stuff you really care about:
I've come to the conclusion that I possibly need therapy. Watev. It ain't happening.
Love life, I'm alot happier. Got rid "The Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Me", even though he tries to pop up every so often. That was a huge accomplishment.
I think I'm starting to develop feelings. I missed alot more people this summer than I ever have in my entire life. (not a fan of this)
Haven't been in , as my friend Tiffany likes to call it, "A.M" (anger management) mode in a while. But then again I haven't been around nearly as many people. Yea, we won't really count this one.
Can't think of anything else right now but when I do I'll just add it later. You know I don't do anything traditionally.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 24
Day 24: A letter to your parents
Been staring at this computer screen for the past 11 min trying to figure out where to start. Partly because I was eating sunflower seeds and it’s hard to type and take them out of my mouth (haven’t mastered the art of “eat.spit.be happy.” yet), but mainly because this is going to force me to become emotional. And when I say emotional I mean going so deep into my feelings that I end up crying. It’s rare, but still hate it when it happens. I was thinking that maybe if I was emotional more often then it wouldn’t be such Sweet 16 when I am. Well watev, that won’t be changing any time soon. My goal is finish writing this without even having to barricade a tear. Hey a girl can dream right?
Sidebar: When I really want to write a blog post and I’m home (with no internet…which I am right now) I’ll write it in my notebook. But this one I’m typing in a Word document so I can delete it as soon as I post it. I don’t want to be able to stumble upon this one day. I want no recollection of it. There might be some typos too because I definitely won’t be reading this over. When I write a meaningful (to me at least) post I’ll advertise it (crazy right? Advertising) on Twitter. That will absolutely not be happening today. If you happen to be a usual reader consider yourself lucky. You have just entered the deep world of Brittanee Monee’ Charles and successfully snuck past security.
Hey Daddy,
Remember the “Greatest Dad of All Time” award we gave you last year? That wasn’t my idea. Don’t get me wrong, if we were counting from when I was 14, then yes, you deserve it. If we were counting from birth, then you don’t . Uncle Dario mentions every once in a while how you weren’t around much when we were younger and how we wouldn’t remember it. Well I don’t know about Tiff, but I do. Honestly, it didn’t bother me then and it still doesn’t now. My only issue is you act like you WERE always around. I don’t know if you’re in denial or you just think we don’t remember but I would really appreciate it if you would stop. I should probably correct this. When I say you weren’t around it makes it seem like you were an absent father and I never want anyone to think that. I really mean you weren’t around as much as you think you were. I remember you not living in the house anymore since I was seven, and I mean officially. I remember you staying at grandma’s for months at a time since I was four. Crazy how kids notice the things you think you’re hiding from them. I’ll keep that in mind when I have my own. Now that I think about it, that might have been the beginning of me adopting the “I don’t care” attitude. I always blamed it on mommy, but now I’m realizing you played a small part too.
I was only 11 years old when you changed our lives forever. I remember it like it was yesterday. You came over around 8 that night and you brought Tiff and I into Mommy’s room. That’s when you told us Gina was pregnant and that you would be living with her and we’d be staying there every other weekend. I’m not going to sit here and act like I thought you and mommy were going to get back together or that I even hoped for it, but I for dang sure wasn’t expecting this. You have a pregnant girlfriend? We didn’t even know that you had A girlfriend. But what’s really crazy is I really didn’t care much. Ok, that’s not fully true. I did care to an extent. I care about if it would break up our family, but even by then I learned to keep in my emotions. I cried though. You want to know why? Because Tiff was and I didn’t want you and mommy to think something was wrong with me. I don’t know when or how I learned to do this, but I just turned it into something good for me. I saw it as chance to finally be able to do normal kid stuff since we couldn’t do that with mommy. But then we started coming over and I didn’t like how Gina treated Tiff. Yall excuse was always that Tiff acted out and that she didn’t have to do it because I wasn’t. Correct me if I’m wrong but Tiff was effin 9! She was a little kid! With the situation at hand how do you expect her to act?? And don’t try to use me as a model. Like I said I kept everything in so you weren’t going to see me “act out” anyway. Besides, she wasn’t acting out. She would argue with Gina, and normal arguing at that…that’s it. And Gina acted like she couldn’t be bothered with Tiff. And you know what, if she really couldn’t then fine, but she would put up a front once you came around. Next to the way she treated Tiff in general, that was my next main issue with her. Don’t sit there play pretend because now you’re watching. Even to this day, no matter how many times I’ve told you that you didn’t listen. Then to make matters worse, you always tried to force us into being a “family”. Ish was and is never going to happen, so you should’ve just left it alone. Instead you tricked us into having a “family meeting” and that’s when everything turned upside down. Gina asked me if I liked her and I said no. You wanted us to put everything out there Daddy and we did. Be careful what you wish for. Eventually everybody got over that day and now Tiff and I are completely indifferent to your situation. But you need to understand that we’re never going to be one big happy family. I think the sooner you realize that, the sooner everything will be fine; because the more you push her on us, the more we’re going to push away. You say you’re trying to make it easier for us, but we REALLY don’t care, so all I hear is “I’m trying to make it easier for me.” Honestly Daddy it’s not our fault this might be the first time after Tiff was born that you decided to be faithful.
But I always say, “my dad’s not a good guy, but he’s a great father”. If you didn’t step in as many times as you did I think me and Mommy would’ve gotten into way more arguments than we did. There’s plenty of times you could’ve done a better job but I can tell that you genuinely tried so I wouldn’t tell you that you messed up. I know you can’t help, but you shouldn’t feel bad about how our life was with Mommy. You didn’t know and we didn’t tell you (cuz we didn’t know any better). Although I would have liked for a lot of things to be different, we were fine. I remember you saying to me once that sometimes you had to play the mother and father role. I would definitely say that you did. I would and still will talk to you first about any situation that a girl would typically talk to her mother about because I feel like I can talk to you about anything. So dad I appreciate you being both parents at times when my other parent was always (physically) there. Honestly, I don’t want to marry a man like you. You’re not a gentleman and in the words of Grandma, you’re a bum. Haha. You even said yourself you wouldn’t want us to end up with someone like you. But if I could marry a man who’s would be as good as a father as you that would be perfect.
Love, Britt
Dear Mom,
I’m actually glad that I’m writing this instead of telling you face to face. Just that sentence alone you would have stopped me and tell me I’m wrong and then I’d never get to say what I really wanted to because we’d end up arguing over how you never listen to anyone and you always think you’ve right. I don’t care what you say, it’s true. Apparently everybody knows this but you so that must mean something right? No…not to you. Because you always think you know how everyone is feeling no matter what they tell you. And this is the main reason I can’t talk to you about anything. But don’t feel bad for me (not that I really think you would), I learned at a very early age that you aren’t the parent/family member to talk to so I didn’t miss it. Remember when Daniel broke up with me? I was so extremely heartbroken and all you could do was yell at me. Did you ever stop to think that that was not what I needed at the time? I needed someone to console me. But crazy thing is I already knew you weren’t the person for that, so I didn’t expect it out of you. But I also didn’t expect you to make me feel worse either. After Daddy had a talk with me that’s when you wanted to act like a mom and have your own talk with me. Honestly though I didn’t want you too. When I think of you I think of someone that doesn’t have any feelings, and you’ve proved that to me time and time again.
But I think the worst part about it is that you’re selfish. You’re selfish and you won’t admit it. Excuse me, no, to admit something means you are already aware of it. You have no idea that you’re selfish…and I really don’t know how not. I didn’t realize how bad you are until I got to college and starting talking to other people. Until then, I didn’t necessarily think how you raised us was normal, but I didn’t realize how bad it was either. Seriously, the way I ate in college was about the same that I ate my whole life. I probably ate Ramen noodles more in high school than I did in college. And it’s not because you weren’t home…you were home, just wouldn’t cook. When we did go out to eat with Uncle Dario or Daddy you got mad that we didn’t bring you any food back, then eat our leftovers that we had planned to eat for dinner the next day. But never did you once bring us back food when you went out to eat without us. Honestly, if I’m not at the restaurant with you I don’t expect anyone to bring me back food, but by the way you complained about it when me and Tiff did it you would think that you would bring us back something at least once. I was talking to Daddy the other day about how much money me and Tiff would get for lunch in high school. He said he would give us at least $25 a week. I said no you gave Tiff money and Mommy gave me money, and I was only getting $20 every TWO weeks. He said “No that can’t be right, that’s $2 per day”. I said “ I know, that was a bagel and a water”. Funny thing is he asked why didn’t I tell you that…but I did…plenty of times.
My first winter break in college I was home for a month. You didn’t cook not once until the day I left. You ate well though. I was depressed that break too….lost 10 lbs. Now before you say I could’ve cooked for myself, cooked what? Next to rarely cooking you didn’t teach us how to. That might’ve have helped in our situation. But not feeding us that winter break, not giving me enough lunch $, and never bringing us back food isn’t the point. The point is, in a nutshell, we didn’t come first. It was either the church or you over your own children. You always act like you’re the greatest mother in the world. You did the basic motherly duties, and most of them at a minimum. When it came to us, you were cheap. I hated going shopping with you because we always had to go to the discount stores and you always wanted us to use our own money, our little pocket change. Honestly, if we didn’t have then I could understand that. But Mom you have four cars, three closets full of clothes, and have been building on to the house for 11 years now. In other words, you have no problem spending money when it comes to you. Remember that time I asked you if I got a refund check? You said “no, but even if you did that money would be going to me.” Either way you look at it not it wouldn’t. First of all that money is from student loans, which you told me before I even got to college that won’t be helping me pay those off and secondly Daddy paid for the tuition balance. As many times as you talked about paying you would think I didn’t know that but I did. I know you paid a few times, but not nearly as many times as you make it seem. Everybody that knows you says I’m just like you, even your flaws. I can’t remember the exact day, but I remember realizing that I was selfish and that I didn’t want to be like that. So ever since then genuinely tried not to be. Don’t get me wrong I believe I still am, just not nearly as much as I used to be. And that’s because it’s just in me. But the difference between me and you is that I acknowledge it and try to better myself. I feel like you think you’re a complete angel.
I go out of my way for people a lot more than what I used to, and it might not be acknowledged as much but that’s fine because I didn’t do it for the recognition. When Aunt Wanda died her funeral was on my birthday in North Carolina. I never make a big deal out of my birthday, but this was the first year I actually had plans...it was my 21st. Then to make it worse it was in North Carolina. You know I extremely dislike going down there. You only needed one of us to go down so I did. Even though you didn’t even look like Aunt Wanda’s death affected you (aside from us finding out from Aunt Marcia even though we were with you the day she died and the day after) I went to give you support and I didn’t want Tiff to miss her first days of college. But of course you found a way to make that the worst decision ever. You were going around saying “yea it’s Britt’s birthday, so what. She wants me to take her out to dinner. For what?” You were right though. For what? Why would I want to go to dinner with you? For maybe the fourth time in my entire life I tried to tell you how I felt, but as usual acted like I felt any type of way for no reason. And I’ll never forget what you said to me. After yelling at me for being so selfish to even be remotely sad that I didn’t celebrate my birthday you said “I came down here to show face and you are upset that you didn’t get to celebrate your birthday?!!! You’re selfish Brittanee! You’re selfish!” Crazy thing is, that’s not what I was upset about. I was upset that even though I wasn’t even telling people it was my birthday (because that’s not what I thought the focus of the day should have been on) my COUSINS wanted to celebrate my birthday more than my own mother did. Aside from what I was upset about, what stood out from us arguing for a half hour was “I came down here to show face”. Your sister dies and you just came to show face. Besides that sounding crazy off the bat, you made it seem like someone was twisting your arm to do it. I already starting thinking this a few years before, but that day solidified for me the idea that I don’t want to be anything like you. As harsh as that may sound I really don’t think it’s going to affect you because you don’t seem to have emotions anyway. I already know I get that from you. It’s a survival tactic. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t like this. I can’t keep a tight consistent relationship with friends, I haven’t hugged my sisters (cousins included) since they were 8 even though I love them very much, and I can’t get a boyfriend for nothing. But it is what it is. At the end of the day though, if I had the choice for Tiff to go through all this I’d still take it. I guess the one thing you can say that you have successfully accomplished is you are the only person that can ever get me to my breaking point. I really don’t know why, because I know you’re going to tell me I’m wrong about how you make me feel, so in all actuality, getting upset about anything with you is pointless (hence me being void of emotion 75% of the time). I guess, subconsciously, I just hope that maybe once you would actually act like my mom and care. But like I said, it is what it is.
-Britt
If anyone is wondering I didn’t accomplish my goal.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Been staring at this computer screen for the past 11 min trying to figure out where to start. Partly because I was eating sunflower seeds and it’s hard to type and take them out of my mouth (haven’t mastered the art of “eat.spit.be happy.” yet), but mainly because this is going to force me to become emotional. And when I say emotional I mean going so deep into my feelings that I end up crying. It’s rare, but still hate it when it happens. I was thinking that maybe if I was emotional more often then it wouldn’t be such Sweet 16 when I am. Well watev, that won’t be changing any time soon. My goal is finish writing this without even having to barricade a tear. Hey a girl can dream right?
Sidebar: When I really want to write a blog post and I’m home (with no internet…which I am right now) I’ll write it in my notebook. But this one I’m typing in a Word document so I can delete it as soon as I post it. I don’t want to be able to stumble upon this one day. I want no recollection of it. There might be some typos too because I definitely won’t be reading this over. When I write a meaningful (to me at least) post I’ll advertise it (crazy right? Advertising) on Twitter. That will absolutely not be happening today. If you happen to be a usual reader consider yourself lucky. You have just entered the deep world of Brittanee Monee’ Charles and successfully snuck past security.
Hey Daddy,
Remember the “Greatest Dad of All Time” award we gave you last year? That wasn’t my idea. Don’t get me wrong, if we were counting from when I was 14, then yes, you deserve it. If we were counting from birth, then you don’t . Uncle Dario mentions every once in a while how you weren’t around much when we were younger and how we wouldn’t remember it. Well I don’t know about Tiff, but I do. Honestly, it didn’t bother me then and it still doesn’t now. My only issue is you act like you WERE always around. I don’t know if you’re in denial or you just think we don’t remember but I would really appreciate it if you would stop. I should probably correct this. When I say you weren’t around it makes it seem like you were an absent father and I never want anyone to think that. I really mean you weren’t around as much as you think you were. I remember you not living in the house anymore since I was seven, and I mean officially. I remember you staying at grandma’s for months at a time since I was four. Crazy how kids notice the things you think you’re hiding from them. I’ll keep that in mind when I have my own. Now that I think about it, that might have been the beginning of me adopting the “I don’t care” attitude. I always blamed it on mommy, but now I’m realizing you played a small part too.
I was only 11 years old when you changed our lives forever. I remember it like it was yesterday. You came over around 8 that night and you brought Tiff and I into Mommy’s room. That’s when you told us Gina was pregnant and that you would be living with her and we’d be staying there every other weekend. I’m not going to sit here and act like I thought you and mommy were going to get back together or that I even hoped for it, but I for dang sure wasn’t expecting this. You have a pregnant girlfriend? We didn’t even know that you had A girlfriend. But what’s really crazy is I really didn’t care much. Ok, that’s not fully true. I did care to an extent. I care about if it would break up our family, but even by then I learned to keep in my emotions. I cried though. You want to know why? Because Tiff was and I didn’t want you and mommy to think something was wrong with me. I don’t know when or how I learned to do this, but I just turned it into something good for me. I saw it as chance to finally be able to do normal kid stuff since we couldn’t do that with mommy. But then we started coming over and I didn’t like how Gina treated Tiff. Yall excuse was always that Tiff acted out and that she didn’t have to do it because I wasn’t. Correct me if I’m wrong but Tiff was effin 9! She was a little kid! With the situation at hand how do you expect her to act?? And don’t try to use me as a model. Like I said I kept everything in so you weren’t going to see me “act out” anyway. Besides, she wasn’t acting out. She would argue with Gina, and normal arguing at that…that’s it. And Gina acted like she couldn’t be bothered with Tiff. And you know what, if she really couldn’t then fine, but she would put up a front once you came around. Next to the way she treated Tiff in general, that was my next main issue with her. Don’t sit there play pretend because now you’re watching. Even to this day, no matter how many times I’ve told you that you didn’t listen. Then to make matters worse, you always tried to force us into being a “family”. Ish was and is never going to happen, so you should’ve just left it alone. Instead you tricked us into having a “family meeting” and that’s when everything turned upside down. Gina asked me if I liked her and I said no. You wanted us to put everything out there Daddy and we did. Be careful what you wish for. Eventually everybody got over that day and now Tiff and I are completely indifferent to your situation. But you need to understand that we’re never going to be one big happy family. I think the sooner you realize that, the sooner everything will be fine; because the more you push her on us, the more we’re going to push away. You say you’re trying to make it easier for us, but we REALLY don’t care, so all I hear is “I’m trying to make it easier for me.” Honestly Daddy it’s not our fault this might be the first time after Tiff was born that you decided to be faithful.
But I always say, “my dad’s not a good guy, but he’s a great father”. If you didn’t step in as many times as you did I think me and Mommy would’ve gotten into way more arguments than we did. There’s plenty of times you could’ve done a better job but I can tell that you genuinely tried so I wouldn’t tell you that you messed up. I know you can’t help, but you shouldn’t feel bad about how our life was with Mommy. You didn’t know and we didn’t tell you (cuz we didn’t know any better). Although I would have liked for a lot of things to be different, we were fine. I remember you saying to me once that sometimes you had to play the mother and father role. I would definitely say that you did. I would and still will talk to you first about any situation that a girl would typically talk to her mother about because I feel like I can talk to you about anything. So dad I appreciate you being both parents at times when my other parent was always (physically) there. Honestly, I don’t want to marry a man like you. You’re not a gentleman and in the words of Grandma, you’re a bum. Haha. You even said yourself you wouldn’t want us to end up with someone like you. But if I could marry a man who’s would be as good as a father as you that would be perfect.
Love, Britt
Dear Mom,
I’m actually glad that I’m writing this instead of telling you face to face. Just that sentence alone you would have stopped me and tell me I’m wrong and then I’d never get to say what I really wanted to because we’d end up arguing over how you never listen to anyone and you always think you’ve right. I don’t care what you say, it’s true. Apparently everybody knows this but you so that must mean something right? No…not to you. Because you always think you know how everyone is feeling no matter what they tell you. And this is the main reason I can’t talk to you about anything. But don’t feel bad for me (not that I really think you would), I learned at a very early age that you aren’t the parent/family member to talk to so I didn’t miss it. Remember when Daniel broke up with me? I was so extremely heartbroken and all you could do was yell at me. Did you ever stop to think that that was not what I needed at the time? I needed someone to console me. But crazy thing is I already knew you weren’t the person for that, so I didn’t expect it out of you. But I also didn’t expect you to make me feel worse either. After Daddy had a talk with me that’s when you wanted to act like a mom and have your own talk with me. Honestly though I didn’t want you too. When I think of you I think of someone that doesn’t have any feelings, and you’ve proved that to me time and time again.
But I think the worst part about it is that you’re selfish. You’re selfish and you won’t admit it. Excuse me, no, to admit something means you are already aware of it. You have no idea that you’re selfish…and I really don’t know how not. I didn’t realize how bad you are until I got to college and starting talking to other people. Until then, I didn’t necessarily think how you raised us was normal, but I didn’t realize how bad it was either. Seriously, the way I ate in college was about the same that I ate my whole life. I probably ate Ramen noodles more in high school than I did in college. And it’s not because you weren’t home…you were home, just wouldn’t cook. When we did go out to eat with Uncle Dario or Daddy you got mad that we didn’t bring you any food back, then eat our leftovers that we had planned to eat for dinner the next day. But never did you once bring us back food when you went out to eat without us. Honestly, if I’m not at the restaurant with you I don’t expect anyone to bring me back food, but by the way you complained about it when me and Tiff did it you would think that you would bring us back something at least once. I was talking to Daddy the other day about how much money me and Tiff would get for lunch in high school. He said he would give us at least $25 a week. I said no you gave Tiff money and Mommy gave me money, and I was only getting $20 every TWO weeks. He said “No that can’t be right, that’s $2 per day”. I said “ I know, that was a bagel and a water”. Funny thing is he asked why didn’t I tell you that…but I did…plenty of times.
My first winter break in college I was home for a month. You didn’t cook not once until the day I left. You ate well though. I was depressed that break too….lost 10 lbs. Now before you say I could’ve cooked for myself, cooked what? Next to rarely cooking you didn’t teach us how to. That might’ve have helped in our situation. But not feeding us that winter break, not giving me enough lunch $, and never bringing us back food isn’t the point. The point is, in a nutshell, we didn’t come first. It was either the church or you over your own children. You always act like you’re the greatest mother in the world. You did the basic motherly duties, and most of them at a minimum. When it came to us, you were cheap. I hated going shopping with you because we always had to go to the discount stores and you always wanted us to use our own money, our little pocket change. Honestly, if we didn’t have then I could understand that. But Mom you have four cars, three closets full of clothes, and have been building on to the house for 11 years now. In other words, you have no problem spending money when it comes to you. Remember that time I asked you if I got a refund check? You said “no, but even if you did that money would be going to me.” Either way you look at it not it wouldn’t. First of all that money is from student loans, which you told me before I even got to college that won’t be helping me pay those off and secondly Daddy paid for the tuition balance. As many times as you talked about paying you would think I didn’t know that but I did. I know you paid a few times, but not nearly as many times as you make it seem. Everybody that knows you says I’m just like you, even your flaws. I can’t remember the exact day, but I remember realizing that I was selfish and that I didn’t want to be like that. So ever since then genuinely tried not to be. Don’t get me wrong I believe I still am, just not nearly as much as I used to be. And that’s because it’s just in me. But the difference between me and you is that I acknowledge it and try to better myself. I feel like you think you’re a complete angel.
I go out of my way for people a lot more than what I used to, and it might not be acknowledged as much but that’s fine because I didn’t do it for the recognition. When Aunt Wanda died her funeral was on my birthday in North Carolina. I never make a big deal out of my birthday, but this was the first year I actually had plans...it was my 21st. Then to make it worse it was in North Carolina. You know I extremely dislike going down there. You only needed one of us to go down so I did. Even though you didn’t even look like Aunt Wanda’s death affected you (aside from us finding out from Aunt Marcia even though we were with you the day she died and the day after) I went to give you support and I didn’t want Tiff to miss her first days of college. But of course you found a way to make that the worst decision ever. You were going around saying “yea it’s Britt’s birthday, so what. She wants me to take her out to dinner. For what?” You were right though. For what? Why would I want to go to dinner with you? For maybe the fourth time in my entire life I tried to tell you how I felt, but as usual acted like I felt any type of way for no reason. And I’ll never forget what you said to me. After yelling at me for being so selfish to even be remotely sad that I didn’t celebrate my birthday you said “I came down here to show face and you are upset that you didn’t get to celebrate your birthday?!!! You’re selfish Brittanee! You’re selfish!” Crazy thing is, that’s not what I was upset about. I was upset that even though I wasn’t even telling people it was my birthday (because that’s not what I thought the focus of the day should have been on) my COUSINS wanted to celebrate my birthday more than my own mother did. Aside from what I was upset about, what stood out from us arguing for a half hour was “I came down here to show face”. Your sister dies and you just came to show face. Besides that sounding crazy off the bat, you made it seem like someone was twisting your arm to do it. I already starting thinking this a few years before, but that day solidified for me the idea that I don’t want to be anything like you. As harsh as that may sound I really don’t think it’s going to affect you because you don’t seem to have emotions anyway. I already know I get that from you. It’s a survival tactic. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t like this. I can’t keep a tight consistent relationship with friends, I haven’t hugged my sisters (cousins included) since they were 8 even though I love them very much, and I can’t get a boyfriend for nothing. But it is what it is. At the end of the day though, if I had the choice for Tiff to go through all this I’d still take it. I guess the one thing you can say that you have successfully accomplished is you are the only person that can ever get me to my breaking point. I really don’t know why, because I know you’re going to tell me I’m wrong about how you make me feel, so in all actuality, getting upset about anything with you is pointless (hence me being void of emotion 75% of the time). I guess, subconsciously, I just hope that maybe once you would actually act like my mom and care. But like I said, it is what it is.
-Britt
If anyone is wondering I didn’t accomplish my goal.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 20
Day 20: Your celebrity crush
::rubs hands together:: ooooh this is exciting
Mr. Paul William Walker IV. MMMM!! He's so good looking!! And I specifically got a pic with abs because they are my weakness. This man has been in my top 5 since "She's All That"...and how long ago was that? Yes, this man still looks sc-rumptious. Haven't had any black males that really do it that much for me in a while. WAIT!! I lied. Idris Elba is definitely up there. Yeeeaaaa
...it's been real luvs--->DEUCES
::rubs hands together:: ooooh this is exciting
Mr. Paul William Walker IV. MMMM!! He's so good looking!! And I specifically got a pic with abs because they are my weakness. This man has been in my top 5 since "She's All That"...and how long ago was that? Yes, this man still looks sc-rumptious. Haven't had any black males that really do it that much for me in a while. WAIT!! I lied. Idris Elba is definitely up there. Yeeeaaaa
...it's been real luvs--->DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 25
Day 25: What I would find in your bag
Well let's start with the basics/must-haves.
1. Lip Smacker's Chapstick
2. My Phone
3. My Wallet (id, atm card, $, comb)
4. Scrunchie
5. Hair Clip
6. Pen
In this bag specifically though, I have a whole bunch of receipts and papers I need to throw out, headphones, keys (actually that's on the main list), lipgloss, brush, and a pair of shades that are missing one lens. Don't laugh, I was pissed off when I found them the other day. I was driving to work and the glare from the sun was ridiculous and I find them like that. (-______-) the pitts. Oh, and most times I'll have one of my handy dandy scarves in there too. Speaking of, I need to rack up on those. The bag I have with me at this moment is an "Angry Little Girls" bag. It's two girls on it. One says "What are you doing?" The other replies "Writing down how many times you annoy me" If that doesn't fit me I don't know what does.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Well let's start with the basics/must-haves.
1. Lip Smacker's Chapstick
2. My Phone
3. My Wallet (id, atm card, $, comb)
4. Scrunchie
5. Hair Clip
6. Pen
In this bag specifically though, I have a whole bunch of receipts and papers I need to throw out, headphones, keys (actually that's on the main list), lipgloss, brush, and a pair of shades that are missing one lens. Don't laugh, I was pissed off when I found them the other day. I was driving to work and the glare from the sun was ridiculous and I find them like that. (-______-) the pitts. Oh, and most times I'll have one of my handy dandy scarves in there too. Speaking of, I need to rack up on those. The bag I have with me at this moment is an "Angry Little Girls" bag. It's two girls on it. One says "What are you doing?" The other replies "Writing down how many times you annoy me" If that doesn't fit me I don't know what does.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 29
So according to the calender I should be up to Day 29, which meeeaaans I owe you guys 10 posts. Eeehhh I can probably knock out at least 2 of those today. I already know off the bat, looking at the list, that Day 17 and 24 are going to require me to really sit down and examine myself. Actually looking back at that list, I really should be done with this challenge by a day or two. Well the weekend's finally here and I'm relaxing so I'll try my best. Anywho, on to the today's challenge.
Day 29: What you wore today
From top to bottom: cream oversized cardigan with an emblem, gray tee, dark blue skinny jeans, and gray flats
Depending on how I'm feeling in the morning I might have been dressed more business-like since I did come from work. But my job is really laidback. You really have the option to dress however you feel (obviously in an acceptable manner though). Yesterday I had on slacks, a long sleeve shirt and a vest. My boss might come in to work in a suit one day and leggings another. And most days, she'll be in leggings. But that's not importance, that's not important. I guess I'm supposed to talk about the significance of this outfit. Hmm ok, well I bought this cardigan recently. Saw it and had to have it. As I'm writing this my sister just asked "Champton, where'd you get that beautiful sweater from?" But she's an idiot. This gray tee? I need to get a new one. It's slightly stretched out. I need someone to remind me to buy a new one between now and December. Thanks. The jeans? Yea watev, they're jeans. There's nothing special about them. And I need to get new flats too but they're doable. Mind you, as I'm typing this my sister's currently dying laughing at my outfit. I don't know why. Doesn't matter. Haven't been a fan of her's since at least '94. Haha.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Day 29: What you wore today
From top to bottom: cream oversized cardigan with an emblem, gray tee, dark blue skinny jeans, and gray flats
Depending on how I'm feeling in the morning I might have been dressed more business-like since I did come from work. But my job is really laidback. You really have the option to dress however you feel (obviously in an acceptable manner though). Yesterday I had on slacks, a long sleeve shirt and a vest. My boss might come in to work in a suit one day and leggings another. And most days, she'll be in leggings. But that's not importance, that's not important. I guess I'm supposed to talk about the significance of this outfit. Hmm ok, well I bought this cardigan recently. Saw it and had to have it. As I'm writing this my sister just asked "Champton, where'd you get that beautiful sweater from?" But she's an idiot. This gray tee? I need to get a new one. It's slightly stretched out. I need someone to remind me to buy a new one between now and December. Thanks. The jeans? Yea watev, they're jeans. There's nothing special about them. And I need to get new flats too but they're doable. Mind you, as I'm typing this my sister's currently dying laughing at my outfit. I don't know why. Doesn't matter. Haven't been a fan of her's since at least '94. Haha.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Is Ya CRAZY?!
Still at work but I'm about to fall asleep so I'm going to vent to keep me up. And I don't care what anyone says. Anywho, so it's about time for a trim. My friend back at Temple was going to do it for me but we were rushing to go to a party. Since I'm back home I asked another friend to do it. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS CHICK SAID?! She said "its $25 for a wash and cut and $20 for a trim". Now I'm not trying to be funny,but I can get the Dominicans to trim my hair for $5, $10 tops. So I say "$20? For a trim???" She says "oh I meant a cut, it's $15 for a trim". Negro you STILL wylin!! I don't know about you, but unless I'm doing some outlandish ish, I'm not charging my friends jack. Homegirl must really think she's doing hair in a salon in the Upper East Side or something. I told her I'd rather go to the Dominicans and she said fine $7. Honestly the only reason I'm letting her do it is 'cuz at the end of the convo it was sounding more like she just needed it. And I'm not being cheap, it's the principle. That would've been a straight hustle and I AIN'T wit it. Ok I have a half hour of work left and I actually have something to do so I'm out haha.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Friday, October 15, 2010
Fantastic Voyage
Today should be quite interesting. I'm driving to Philly today for homecoming right after work. Got up at 6 (ok 6:20) to make it to Enterprise as soon as they open so I could get to work by 8 to leave at 4:30. Hoooowever, my uncle took 15 min to get there when it's only 5 min away, which means I got to work at 8:20. You think I ain't gonna leave at 4:30 though?? Hmm! I need to beat as much traffic as possible, plus I have to pick up my friend on the way. Monsters will be on deck between 1 and 4. I just got here and I already fell the fatigue coming. I haven't eaten though so that might be part of it. Anywho, prepare not to hear from me to at least Monday. As soon as 4:30 hits I'm on my o.d. hype ish. The necessary people have been warned.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Clap Clap Bravo
Got into work a little early so I got a few minutes before my boss gets here....this is going to be quick.
I can't say I'm a die hard fan of hip hop. Alot of times I'm late on the newest song and I for damn sure won't know any underground. But I love Kanye West. Loved him since he first came out. He had me at "hello my mouth's wired shut" and I've been with him ever since. BET Hip Hop Awards ---> complete fail in my eyes. The only thing that kept me watching was anticipating the G.O.O.D. Music cypher. My response: I need someone to make this downloadable ASAP. It was crazy. EVERYBODY was crazy. If I had to choose one I'd say Pusha T had the best verse overall. First time hearing Big Sean and Cyphi da Prince, no doubt they deserved to be there. My main homie Kanye and Common both had their shining minutes (minutes are longer than moments, don't you think?). Can't say I'm different from everybody else with my favorite line. Hands down "too many Urkels on ya team, that's why ya wins low". Randomly thought about that and the insinuation to be louder and started dying. Deadass dying by myself in my car. I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THIS. Expect heavy rotation once it is. Heavy like I'll be spittin it off the top of the cranium. That's how you know I love a song. Play it on repeat til it's in my DNA. Reciting it like it's my times tables. In third grade we had to stand until you got them all correct, no mistakes. Let's just say I always took an early seat.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
I can't say I'm a die hard fan of hip hop. Alot of times I'm late on the newest song and I for damn sure won't know any underground. But I love Kanye West. Loved him since he first came out. He had me at "hello my mouth's wired shut" and I've been with him ever since. BET Hip Hop Awards ---> complete fail in my eyes. The only thing that kept me watching was anticipating the G.O.O.D. Music cypher. My response: I need someone to make this downloadable ASAP. It was crazy. EVERYBODY was crazy. If I had to choose one I'd say Pusha T had the best verse overall. First time hearing Big Sean and Cyphi da Prince, no doubt they deserved to be there. My main homie Kanye and Common both had their shining minutes (minutes are longer than moments, don't you think?). Can't say I'm different from everybody else with my favorite line. Hands down "too many Urkels on ya team, that's why ya wins low". Randomly thought about that and the insinuation to be louder and started dying. Deadass dying by myself in my car. I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THIS. Expect heavy rotation once it is. Heavy like I'll be spittin it off the top of the cranium. That's how you know I love a song. Play it on repeat til it's in my DNA. Reciting it like it's my times tables. In third grade we had to stand until you got them all correct, no mistakes. Let's just say I always took an early seat.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 19
Day 19: Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Oooooh goodie!! I love nicknames!!! Seriously I do though. I'll start with the ones I hate first so I don't end up upset by the end of this post.
Brittisaurus - I HATE HATE HATE this nickname. It's dumb and it's stupid. One of my aunts calls me that...the annoying one. (-____-) That should explain it.
Britty - I tolerate it but I'm not a fan of this one either. I don't remember how or who came up with it, but whoever it was I'm upset with you.
Britt - Obviously this is the standard nickname for every version of Brittany. It's not my favorite but it doesn't bother me.
Don't know if you realized the trend but I'm not a big fan of nicknames that come from my first name. Anyway on to the good ones.
N.A.S - My friends in hs made this up and wouldn't tell me why they were calling me that for 2,3 weeks. I finally found out it meant Nod and Smile. Reason being I talk so fast that you can't understand me. ::rolling my eyes:: I guess...haha
Pattywat - My mom's been calling me this since I was 1. Translated it means "Fat Rat". This is just how to say that in "baby talk". Honestly my mom can call me this in front of anyone and I wouldn't be embarrassed.
B.Charles - My P.I.G teacher started calling me that in hs and then all the white people ran with it
Champ - Courtesy of my sister. We used to always come up with nicknames for eachother and stopped at this one (her's is Chief). Variations: Champton, Champti-on
Charlez - Homies just started calling me Charles and that was that. I actually think it was because they didn't want to say Brittanee. Watev...it was a win-win.
Charlie - Clearly a variation of Charlez, but I had to give it it's own spot because I like it that much
Kerrmi - I had a cold and woke up with a groggy voice. I told him (yea, that him) and he started calling me Kermit the Frog. Eventually became Kerrmi. And yea it's spelled with two r's...or is it two i's? I don't remember haha. Probably my favorite nickname right now, mostly because it has nothing to do with my name. I prefer those. Variations: Kermit, Kerm
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Oooooh goodie!! I love nicknames!!! Seriously I do though. I'll start with the ones I hate first so I don't end up upset by the end of this post.
Brittisaurus - I HATE HATE HATE this nickname. It's dumb and it's stupid. One of my aunts calls me that...the annoying one. (-____-) That should explain it.
Britty - I tolerate it but I'm not a fan of this one either. I don't remember how or who came up with it, but whoever it was I'm upset with you.
Britt - Obviously this is the standard nickname for every version of Brittany. It's not my favorite but it doesn't bother me.
Don't know if you realized the trend but I'm not a big fan of nicknames that come from my first name. Anyway on to the good ones.
N.A.S - My friends in hs made this up and wouldn't tell me why they were calling me that for 2,3 weeks. I finally found out it meant Nod and Smile. Reason being I talk so fast that you can't understand me. ::rolling my eyes:: I guess...haha
Pattywat - My mom's been calling me this since I was 1. Translated it means "Fat Rat". This is just how to say that in "baby talk". Honestly my mom can call me this in front of anyone and I wouldn't be embarrassed.
B.Charles - My P.I.G teacher started calling me that in hs and then all the white people ran with it
Champ - Courtesy of my sister. We used to always come up with nicknames for eachother and stopped at this one (her's is Chief). Variations: Champton, Champti-on
Charlez - Homies just started calling me Charles and that was that. I actually think it was because they didn't want to say Brittanee. Watev...it was a win-win.
Charlie - Clearly a variation of Charlez, but I had to give it it's own spot because I like it that much
Kerrmi - I had a cold and woke up with a groggy voice. I told him (yea, that him) and he started calling me Kermit the Frog. Eventually became Kerrmi. And yea it's spelled with two r's...or is it two i's? I don't remember haha. Probably my favorite nickname right now, mostly because it has nothing to do with my name. I prefer those. Variations: Kermit, Kerm
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
And the Beat Goes On...
Thirty Day Challenge...yea I might have to put that on pause. Well maybe not on pause, but I just don't want to do 3 days in 1 anymore. When I do that I always end up writing really shorts entries that are rushed. That's not fair to me and it's not fair to you, the six people that read this. I mean I'm not going to act like I've never had my hiatuses but for the past few months I've wanted to talk about so much. When I don't have immediate access to the internet is when I want to stay consistent. I hate the irony in this. Then there's the Challenge. It's become such a top priority that (besides not being able to share the minute I'm thinking of anything) I don't get the chance to just talk about the random stuff in my life...and you (should) know (by now) I live for the random stuff. And you know what, since I'm random, for the days I have missed I'm jumping around until I'm up to date...whenever that happens. So the last day I left off on was Day 17. I think I'll do Day 19.
Oh by the way, I really don't think this entry's title correlates to this post...well it didn't at first. Anyway, it was the first thing that came to my head...if you were wondering.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Oh by the way, I really don't think this entry's title correlates to this post...well it didn't at first. Anyway, it was the first thing that came to my head...if you were wondering.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Friday, October 8, 2010
I Gots Me A Jizzob!!
Sooooo I had an interview with Macy's today for an Administrative Support Team Associate. Besides waiting almost an hour for my interviewer and this white chick deadass walking in with leggings and boots on for her interview, it went pretty well. The guy told me I'd hear from him on Monday to schedule another interview. Sounds great. But then as soon as I get in the car this guy I've been talking to from a temp agency called and told me about another available position. Now typically I don't pay him any mind because since July he's been telling me about positions and saying I can start asap and then disappears for about two weeks. So you can see why I don't depend on him much. BUT this time he offered me a job that I really could start immediately (i.e. Monday). The job is full time and decent pay. Since it's a contract job it ends in December, possibly January, which is perfect since I plan on starting classes at Hofstra in January so I wouldn't be able to do full time anyway. Needless to say, I'm HYPE. This definitely came at the perfect time since I'm going to Temple next weekend and I needed a way to pay myself back. The whole ride home I was blasting "Whip My Hair" and "See Me Now" and dancing. If people were staring I wouldn't be surprised. Now I'm gonna go home and blast "Take Me Home" (LIL Bow Wow...throwbaaack) and do the Harlem. I'm od hype today maaan. Ain't nobody bringing me down.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 17
Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for a day and why
Truthfully, I'm dumb sleepy and I've been writing for the past 4 hrs. And I believe this post requires more than three sentences. In other words, there's no way I'll be writing this today. When I do get around to it I'll just call it "Day 17 (Part 2)".
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Truthfully, I'm dumb sleepy and I've been writing for the past 4 hrs. And I believe this post requires more than three sentences. In other words, there's no way I'll be writing this today. When I do get around to it I'll just call it "Day 17 (Part 2)".
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 16
Day 16: Another picture of yourself
Arguably my favorite picture of myself. I really don't know why. I don't think I'm that pretty in this pic. Even though it's my profile I feel like it's just me...plain and simple.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 15
Day 15: Put your Ipod on Shuffle: List first 10 songs
1. Picture Perfect - Chris Brown ft. Will.i.am
2. Understanding - Xscape
3. How Deep Is Your Love - Dru Hill
4. Get It On the Floor - DMX ft. Swiss Beatz
5. Again - Faith Evans
6. Shadow - Ashlee Simpson
7. We Need a Resolution - Aaliyah ft. Timberland
8. Love Like This Before - Faith Evans
9. Through the Wire - Kanye West
10. Tie My Hands - Lil Wayne ft. Robin Thicke
Don't know why my Itunes is in it's R&B bag right now. Of all the times I've had to play the shuffle game that's never happened. Weird. Shoutout to "Through the Wire" though. My homie Jay and I used to stay singing/rapping this in the hallways in high school all the time. He always messed up on the second verse (lol). Good times
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
1. Picture Perfect - Chris Brown ft. Will.i.am
2. Understanding - Xscape
3. How Deep Is Your Love - Dru Hill
4. Get It On the Floor - DMX ft. Swiss Beatz
5. Again - Faith Evans
6. Shadow - Ashlee Simpson
7. We Need a Resolution - Aaliyah ft. Timberland
8. Love Like This Before - Faith Evans
9. Through the Wire - Kanye West
10. Tie My Hands - Lil Wayne ft. Robin Thicke
Don't know why my Itunes is in it's R&B bag right now. Of all the times I've had to play the shuffle game that's never happened. Weird. Shoutout to "Through the Wire" though. My homie Jay and I used to stay singing/rapping this in the hallways in high school all the time. He always messed up on the second verse (lol). Good times
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 14
Day 14: A picture of you and your family
Not the greatest pic that's the only one I have on my computer. I'm just noticing that we don't take alot of pics and when we do there's never anybody in it. My little sister and my uncle aren't in it. Well my little sister wasn't there and my uncle took it, as usual.
Excuse my hair, I left my hair products at home...no seriously. But anyway, these are my sisters and my cousin at her hs graduation. I think that's everybody.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Not the greatest pic that's the only one I have on my computer. I'm just noticing that we don't take alot of pics and when we do there's never anybody in it. My little sister and my uncle aren't in it. Well my little sister wasn't there and my uncle took it, as usual.
Excuse my hair, I left my hair products at home...no seriously. But anyway, these are my sisters and my cousin at her hs graduation. I think that's everybody.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Sitting On the Other Side of the Table
Apparently the "Adventures of Stache" are back on. I feel like every time I talk about this guy I think it's going to be the last and then he pops up again. Two years ago I wished he would want me more. You know what, honestly (and this is the first time I'm admitting this), deep down,I even wished this six months ago. Now, I've been doing well without him and I'd like to keep it that way. But I feel like he knows this because as many times as I've turned him down he won't go away. Well they say be careful what you wish for right? Our last conversation he TOLD me to make time for him this weekend. Mind you, this is after I told him the LAST time we spoke about it that it's not happening. But that part wasn't shocking. (He's an derf so he doesn't know how to act.) What was shocking was after I asked him if he was threatening me (he was) he said "you know I would never threaten you babe, I only gots love for you". Babe? Love? O_o whaaat??? After the first three months of our "relationship" he hasn't said one nice thing to me. I figure either he's about to die or he's on that oowee. Either way I'm good. The only good thing that's coming out of this is I can now say, honestly and truely, he no longer has a hold on me. Ahhh feels good.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Job: It's a Three Letter Word
October 15, 2010. The day I'm driving down to Philadelphia for Temple's Homecoming. October 15, 2010. The day I planned on being employed for at least two months. The day I planned on having a bank account with at least $700 in it. And the day I planned on having internet and cable (yes I brought this up again...I'm still mad). So October 15th is what? Eight days away. I really think I can have a job by then. At the rate I'm going I probably won't. But I'm not going to keep that mentality. I applied to five retail jobs yesterday. Two at the mall. Honestly, on my list of places I absolutely don't want to work at, the mall might be #3. #5 might be in retail in general. The other two are David's Bridal and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I figure if I have to work in retail it might as well be in a store I like being in. I love all aspects of weddings --->David's Bridal. And as weird as this may sound (hey it's me) new sheets and bed spreads make me happy (lol) ---> Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Oh! Oh! Correction! I DO have a job. A job that I need to get rid of ASAP. This "job" has NO type of organization. It's a sham. Basically it's me starting a basketball program up from scratch. That would be fine if 1. it was something I was passionate about 2. I KNEW this is what my "position" entailed and 3. there was some sort of organization. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for "start-up" projects and organizations, but for you to take part in that I feel you have to be passionate about it. Like the Ultimate Frisbee Tournament I had to benefit Haiti, that my group and I had to start from scratch. However, I was extremely passionate about it so "scratch" meant nothing to me. That event was my baby. But this program isn't my baby. Shoot, it's not even my step-child. To make matters even better, (besides my dad signing me up for the job before I even knew about it) my position was explained to me as being almost like an office manager. On my "first day" at work though, "my boss" talked for an hour about ish we already spoke about and then parts that he left out, which would have clarified what my position really was from the beginning. However, by the end of the conversation I realized I was handling EVERY aspect of this project. I really believe that even he thought this was a bunch of bull because I felt like he was trying to sell me the position. I hate when people try to sell you a position. Completely turns me off. Anyway, when I got to the building I couldn't find my boss and was sent on a wild goose chase by a man that questioned me as if I was a criminal, even though he looked like he had just finished taking a needle. Luckily, after searching for him for at least 30 min, a secretary in another building got a hold of him through Clay...who also happens to be the same man that sent me away knowing damn well Mike ("my boss") was only 20ft away from him. But not only did the secretary find him for me, but she also explained to him that he has to inform the managers that he's having someone working under him. Really? I mean do you really have to tell the people you work for that you're bringing in someone under you? Seriously, I want to know what this guy was thinking. Oh and theeen it was also a problem for insurance reasons. Since most of the guys that play ball come from the drug rehab center right next door and I would be the only female in the building during the hours I work, they have to know about me in case anything happens to me. "In case anything happens to me"???? Yea I'm good. And then the last issue. Mike hasn't even confirmed with the person that would be paying me what days I will be working, how many hours I will be working, or how often I will be getting paid. However, when we first talked all of this was so-called figured out. Don't know about you but that's enough reason for me to decline. BUT on a brighter note, I'm crossing my fingers to have a job by next week. Do me a favor and cross your fingers too.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
This Has To Change...
Ok so this internet thing is really becoming the fucking pitts. Besides having to leave the comfort of my home to use the computer, besides not being able to enlighten myself as soon as I think about something (which I so often do), besides not being able to cyber-window shop when I feel like it, I can't share the thoughts that just went through my head right as thier are flowing. So now as a consequence blogging is almost feeling like a job. Aside from the Thirty Day Challenge that I'm backed up about four days on, my blog is backed up on my thoughts. Needless to say, it's extemely annoying. Well today I plan on making up for everything I didn't share. You've been warned.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Silent Night
Tonight was supposed to be very peaceful. All day I've been running around handing in job applications and barely ate. So I picked up a slice of key lime cheesecake (my guilty pleasure) from The Cheesecake Factory and was looking forward to a relaxing night home. But noooo. I just HAD to go to my dad's house so that I could get a free meal. Now typically when I get to my dad's around 8 everyone is settled in their rooms and I have downstairs pretty much to myself. But not tonight my guy. My little sister has a project due tomorrow and didn't get home until 7, which means any other homework she needed to do she was doing when I walked in. To make matters worse, any time my dad is helping her with her hw and he sees me he automatically stops and says to her "well your big sister is here so I'm done"...cuz he just knows that I have nothing else to do (so what if I don't). I will say this. Helping with homework is one of the main things I'm not looking forward to when I have kids. I'm putting that on my husband. Might even put that in my marriage vows. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Ok, you know what, I did plan on coming over here at some point. I wanted to post a few blog entries about my day and yesterday...and no this isn't it. Needless to say, this night didn't go the way I planned. Guess I'll be trying again next week. Yes, next week because this cheesecake is quite expensive when you ain't got no damn job.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Keep It To Myself...
I was going to write something about him. I want to write something about him. But I won't. I won't, in fear that if this doesn't work out, to save myself the hurt or anger when this becomes an old post that I happened to come across. Nevertheless, I just want you to know that I wanted to write something about him.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 13
Day 13: A food you could live off
Once again, if you were expecting an answer, my apologies. Can't give you one my guy. Honestly I get tired of the food very easily. Wait before yall start to think I'm anorexic or something, let me rephrase that. I mean I get tired of the SAME food. And yea I'm pretty sure this isn't meant to be taken extremely literal, but just the thought of me living off of one food is literally making me kind of naseous. For the record, dramatic as that may have sounded, this is one of those rare times when I'm not exaggerating. I mean if I HAD to pick one, like really really HAD to I'd say chicken fingers. So mundane...you want something better? Well I don't know to tell ya.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Once again, if you were expecting an answer, my apologies. Can't give you one my guy. Honestly I get tired of the food very easily. Wait before yall start to think I'm anorexic or something, let me rephrase that. I mean I get tired of the SAME food. And yea I'm pretty sure this isn't meant to be taken extremely literal, but just the thought of me living off of one food is literally making me kind of naseous. For the record, dramatic as that may have sounded, this is one of those rare times when I'm not exaggerating. I mean if I HAD to pick one, like really really HAD to I'd say chicken fingers. So mundane...you want something better? Well I don't know to tell ya.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 12
Day 12: How you found out about Blogger, and what made you make one
How I found out about blogger? Hmm that's a good question cuz I really don't remember. I think one of my friends had one that I read from time to time. Yea, that sounds like that could be right. Yea, I stick with that. Now, what made me make one? Oh I remember THIS vividly. I just got out of this "situation" with this idiot who we'll call Wild Thornberries. (No, but that's seriously what my friends really called him.) When I'm pissed off about something I have to vent, and that's usually done by telling all my friends what happened. Well this time I ran out of friends to tell, so I created another one. I haven't been blogging about anything that's been pissing me off or complaining about anythinglately, don't know why. Actually no. I know why. It goes back to this issue of not having the internet at my fingertips. So by the time I get around to posting I'm already over it. But anyway, that's the story. I just needed another place to talk.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
How I found out about blogger? Hmm that's a good question cuz I really don't remember. I think one of my friends had one that I read from time to time. Yea, that sounds like that could be right. Yea, I stick with that. Now, what made me make one? Oh I remember THIS vividly. I just got out of this "situation" with this idiot who we'll call Wild Thornberries. (No, but that's seriously what my friends really called him.) When I'm pissed off about something I have to vent, and that's usually done by telling all my friends what happened. Well this time I ran out of friends to tell, so I created another one. I haven't been blogging about anything that's been pissing me off or complaining about anythinglately, don't know why. Actually no. I know why. It goes back to this issue of not having the internet at my fingertips. So by the time I get around to posting I'm already over it. But anyway, that's the story. I just needed another place to talk.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
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