Motivation

I really want to blog about something but I don't know what.  Hmm I haven't finished my 30-day challenge.  What has it been? Like two months or something?  Yea, this is getting out of hand.  Hooowever, I just lost my motivation (yea just like that).  I might be back later...maybe...possibly...I don't know.

Only But For So Long...

Ok so I'm thinking...maybe I will start my tumblr back up.  Yes the one that I had for about a day.  Once I start grad school maybe and when I find my camera charger, I'll start it.  Plus I'll have a lot more to talk about.  I feel like I'm isolated now.  I can only be isolated for so long.  I'm a talkative person.  This having no one to talk to thing...yea not cool.

Void

The one thing I do miss about college...dressing how I feel.  I'm getting tired of these work clothes man.  I miss getting dressed because I wanted to show off that day.  Now, nobody sees my behind except the people at work.   And frankly I could care less about them.  I need to go back to school.  Glad grad school is starting soon (for other, more importants reasons also).  I'll see more people and I'll start dressing how I feel again...I miss it.


...it's been real luvs --->

The Torture I Put Myself Through

So I've been staring at this screen for more than a half trying to type something.  But my motivation is completely gone.  Why?  Because I'm freaking hungry!!! This is ridiculous! I ate dinner but the crap kept me full for maybe an hour.  Seriously my metabolism is pissing me off.  Yea, yea, I'm sure I won't be saying this in 10 years but right now I can't afford for this to happen.  There's never any food here and even if there was my uncle's kitchen isn't exactly the place that you want to be cooking in.  And this fast food stuff all the time?  Nope, won't do it.  Health-wise and finance-wise, I will not.  This is getting extremely out of hand.  I'm actually in starving mode.  I'm no longer hungry.  I'm starving.  And let me repeat: I ate 2 hours ago.  (Actually reread this and realized that was the first time I said it's been 2 hours, but watev.)  Anyway, I'm going to eat these cheese nips.  Probably the entire box.  And it'll probably hold me for another hour, but it's something.  OH!!! And I am NOT pregnant...if that's what ANYONE was thinking.  I've been like this for years....seriously!!


...it's been real luvs --->

Apples and Pears Jimmy...

What's worse? Being bothered by something your s.o. (significant other) does that he or she isn't aware bothers you or being bothered by something your s.o. does that you blatantly told him or her it bothers you?  Now that I've written the question out, it's no contest.  I'd say it's the latter.  And then it gets worse when you bring it up again and they don't apologize for it or really even try to acknowledge it.  I've never been the type to be quiet about problems, or issues, or annoyances.  The purpose is for us to talk about it, fix it, and move on.  But when the other person wants to act completely oblivious to the problem, after you point it out, it's kind of hard to get to the "talk about it" phase in the process.  Personally there's only but so many times I can take a person feigning obliviousness before I have to take myself out of the equation.  When something bothers me, it eats at me until it's fixed.  Well if someone is going to constantly allow this to happen I can't two-step with you man.

Originally, this post was going to be about the differences in the way that men and women think.  You know, how women overanalyze everything and men underanalyze everything and why this is the cause that most times no real understanding is reached.  But then I realized that my specific issue isn't about me overanlyzing, or making a subliminal message.  No.  I came out and said exactly what the problem was (even if I did just write it) and he somewhat acknowledged it (told me he read it).  Now how long will I have to wait until he acknowledges my feelings about it?  In a way, it comes off like he doesn't care much.  But maybe that's just me.  You know what though, even if it is just me then so what.  I'm the one in this equation right, not anyone else.  


...it's been real luvs --->

Things 90s Kids Realize

"Nobody worth knowing doesn't like 'Space Jam'".  Haha...he might have a point...a really good one.

On That Note...

This isn't me...but then again this isn't you either

F*ck a Bus, the Benz is Parked Like Rosa...

I read his tumblr everyday.  It's good stuff...really interesting.  The way he paints the thoughts that inhabit his mind is beautiful.  However....I can't read it anymore.  Recently he's been writing what I like to call "love letters".  Basically expressing his deep feelings for this girl from the past...at least that's what it sounds like.  Let's put it this way, it definitely isn't about me.  And I'm not going to lie, it makes me a little insecure.  Ok ok I did lie, it makes me really insecure.  I asked him who they were about and, to add insult to injury, he replied "different girls".  You ever felt like you've been punched in the stomach with no fist ever touching your flesh so couldn't let the person watching you become of aware of what you just felt?  Yea, that's what happened there.  If I've been acting different around him then that's part of the reason.  I hate feeling insecure.  But I don't want to tell him because I don't want to stifle his method of expression.  Plus most issues that come up he's completely oblivious to, even after I come straight out and tell him, so I'd rather avoid that argument.  And I don't have to worry about him finding out here; apparently he doesn't read this anymore.  That was nice to find out also, but I didn't say anything.  Anywho, since I'm not capable of just outright not reading his words, I'm boycotting it.  Take it one day at a time because apparently I can't stay away.  Part of me wants to tell him to specifically read this post, but I won't. 


P.s. it's the 55th anniversary of the world's introduction to Rosa Park's courage that sat her in the front of that bus in Montgomery, Alabama that ignited the famous Montgomery bus boycott.



....it's been real luvs --->