Sooo like a good amount of people in college, I have a fuck buddy...no let me correct myself, HAD a fuck buddy. Let's call him F.B. (very original, I know, thanks). He was playing too many games at the end of last year, so I had to cut him off on that level. Buuuut a girl has needs so I decided to give him another chance. Another bad idea (if you haven't noticed I tend to make a lot of those). Besides the fact that I have needs, I also started a rule, which I like to call "the boyfriend rule". Basically I'm not allowed to have sex with any guy unless he's my boyfriend; the only exceptions are dudes I've already had sex with, hence the bringing back of the ex-fuck buddy. So I foolishly decide to hit him up one night and tell him to come over. Does he? What do you meeean? That's a stupid question...of course he didn't. No sir bob, instead I got a play-by-play description of what he would do to me if he was to come over. What the freak are you telling me this for?! On a normal day I would just be like "well at least I know what I'm in store for", but I was horney as a motherfucker that night so I wasn't trying to hear that shit. He was officially cut off for good that night. Recently my roommate said she saw him hugged up with some chick and I thought it was probably just a friend czu I've seen him hugged up with a few chicks, so nothing new. Not that I really cared, I just needed to know in case I got real desperate one night...plus there's the fact that I don't dapple in homewrecking or messing up anyone's plans of moving in. Well anyway last week Katt Williams came to Philly, so your girl was definitely in there like swimwear on sale. But that wasn't even the highlight of the day; guess who was sitting RIGHT in front of me? Yea man, F.B. and his little girlfriend. Well there goes my confirmation. But I still wanted to say something to him about it...wouldn't be me if I didn't. Now we're up-to-date. So I saw him yesterday and asked if that was his girl, answer was yes. I told him I was happy for him (it's the truth, fa real) and I wished that I had someone too (also the truth depending on what day it is). And then the real stuff comes out; he tells me that's the reason he's been "staying away" from me. At first I didn't care czu I thought he meant recently, which didn't matter czu ain't nobody was thinking about him recently plus that would mean he's a faithful boyfriend, which I'm always happy to hear. But then right after I left him I realized he meant the last time I requested of his presence, you know the "play-by-play" night. You freaking derf!! (derf (noun):idoiot, loser, jerk, etc...you choose) So you mean to tell me that you had a girlfriend at that time?! And you couldn't tell me this?! Do you really think that if you told me you had a girlfriend I'd be like, "Uhh I don't care, still come over." No, you freaking idiot! That's my word, I'm going to have to start walking around with a sign that says, "I'm a female; therefore I think." Men: they're either too dense or too lazy to exercise their brains...too bad we need them every once in a while.
...it's been real peoplez ---> DEUCES
No comments:
Post a Comment