Friday, December 17, 2010
Motivation
I really want to blog about something but I don't know what. Hmm I haven't finished my 30-day challenge. What has it been? Like two months or something? Yea, this is getting out of hand. Hooowever, I just lost my motivation (yea just like that). I might be back later...maybe...possibly...I don't know.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Only But For So Long...
Ok so I'm thinking...maybe I will start my tumblr back up. Yes the one that I had for about a day. Once I start grad school maybe and when I find my camera charger, I'll start it. Plus I'll have a lot more to talk about. I feel like I'm isolated now. I can only be isolated for so long. I'm a talkative person. This having no one to talk to thing...yea not cool.
Void
The one thing I do miss about college...dressing how I feel. I'm getting tired of these work clothes man. I miss getting dressed because I wanted to show off that day. Now, nobody sees my behind except the people at work. And frankly I could care less about them. I need to go back to school. Glad grad school is starting soon (for other, more importants reasons also). I'll see more people and I'll start dressing how I feel again...I miss it.
...it's been real luvs --->
...it's been real luvs --->
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Torture I Put Myself Through
So I've been staring at this screen for more than a half trying to type something. But my motivation is completely gone. Why? Because I'm freaking hungry!!! This is ridiculous! I ate dinner but the crap kept me full for maybe an hour. Seriously my metabolism is pissing me off. Yea, yea, I'm sure I won't be saying this in 10 years but right now I can't afford for this to happen. There's never any food here and even if there was my uncle's kitchen isn't exactly the place that you want to be cooking in. And this fast food stuff all the time? Nope, won't do it. Health-wise and finance-wise, I will not. This is getting extremely out of hand. I'm actually in starving mode. I'm no longer hungry. I'm starving. And let me repeat: I ate 2 hours ago. (Actually reread this and realized that was the first time I said it's been 2 hours, but watev.) Anyway, I'm going to eat these cheese nips. Probably the entire box. And it'll probably hold me for another hour, but it's something. OH!!! And I am NOT pregnant...if that's what ANYONE was thinking. I've been like this for years....seriously!!
...it's been real luvs --->
...it's been real luvs --->
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Apples and Pears Jimmy...
What's worse? Being bothered by something your s.o. (significant other) does that he or she isn't aware bothers you or being bothered by something your s.o. does that you blatantly told him or her it bothers you? Now that I've written the question out, it's no contest. I'd say it's the latter. And then it gets worse when you bring it up again and they don't apologize for it or really even try to acknowledge it. I've never been the type to be quiet about problems, or issues, or annoyances. The purpose is for us to talk about it, fix it, and move on. But when the other person wants to act completely oblivious to the problem, after you point it out, it's kind of hard to get to the "talk about it" phase in the process. Personally there's only but so many times I can take a person feigning obliviousness before I have to take myself out of the equation. When something bothers me, it eats at me until it's fixed. Well if someone is going to constantly allow this to happen I can't two-step with you man.
Originally, this post was going to be about the differences in the way that men and women think. You know, how women overanalyze everything and men underanalyze everything and why this is the cause that most times no real understanding is reached. But then I realized that my specific issue isn't about me overanlyzing, or making a subliminal message. No. I came out and said exactly what the problem was (even if I did just write it) and he somewhat acknowledged it (told me he read it). Now how long will I have to wait until he acknowledges my feelings about it? In a way, it comes off like he doesn't care much. But maybe that's just me. You know what though, even if it is just me then so what. I'm the one in this equation right, not anyone else.
...it's been real luvs --->
Originally, this post was going to be about the differences in the way that men and women think. You know, how women overanalyze everything and men underanalyze everything and why this is the cause that most times no real understanding is reached. But then I realized that my specific issue isn't about me overanlyzing, or making a subliminal message. No. I came out and said exactly what the problem was (even if I did just write it) and he somewhat acknowledged it (told me he read it). Now how long will I have to wait until he acknowledges my feelings about it? In a way, it comes off like he doesn't care much. But maybe that's just me. You know what though, even if it is just me then so what. I'm the one in this equation right, not anyone else.
...it's been real luvs --->
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Things 90s Kids Realize
"Nobody worth knowing doesn't like 'Space Jam'". Haha...he might have a point...a really good one.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
F*ck a Bus, the Benz is Parked Like Rosa...
I read his tumblr everyday. It's good stuff...really interesting. The way he paints the thoughts that inhabit his mind is beautiful. However....I can't read it anymore. Recently he's been writing what I like to call "love letters". Basically expressing his deep feelings for this girl from the past...at least that's what it sounds like. Let's put it this way, it definitely isn't about me. And I'm not going to lie, it makes me a little insecure. Ok ok I did lie, it makes me really insecure. I asked him who they were about and, to add insult to injury, he replied "different girls". You ever felt like you've been punched in the stomach with no fist ever touching your flesh so couldn't let the person watching you become of aware of what you just felt? Yea, that's what happened there. If I've been acting different around him then that's part of the reason. I hate feeling insecure. But I don't want to tell him because I don't want to stifle his method of expression. Plus most issues that come up he's completely oblivious to, even after I come straight out and tell him, so I'd rather avoid that argument. And I don't have to worry about him finding out here; apparently he doesn't read this anymore. That was nice to find out also, but I didn't say anything. Anywho, since I'm not capable of just outright not reading his words, I'm boycotting it. Take it one day at a time because apparently I can't stay away. Part of me wants to tell him to specifically read this post, but I won't.
P.s. it's the 55th anniversary of the world's introduction to Rosa Park's courage that sat her in the front of that bus in Montgomery, Alabama that ignited the famous Montgomery bus boycott.
....it's been real luvs --->
P.s. it's the 55th anniversary of the world's introduction to Rosa Park's courage that sat her in the front of that bus in Montgomery, Alabama that ignited the famous Montgomery bus boycott.
....it's been real luvs --->
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Why Aren't You Cocky?
"You and your crew are way too humble"
...I didn't know I was supposed to be otherwise. Now this is the part where people start to think I have low self-esteem. Well just so you know, I don't. But anywho, back to the topic. Me be cocky? For what? Technically I don't think I have the right to be cocky. I don't think I'm bad or pretty, in general, but I do have my moments. I guess cute fits. I've been called cute pretty much my entire life. I used to hate it but I've learned to accept it. See this is how I look at it. Everybody can't be sexy, gorgeous, or pretty, and everybody can't be ugly or hideous. I think I happen to fall in between that, definitely more towards the attractive side though. But even though I'm completely fine with how I (think I) look I'm still a human and I do need to it be enforced by another every once in a while. But either way, I think my personality is better than my looks. And personality, in my eyes, counts a whole lot more. But even if I did have the "right" I still wouldn't be cocky or conceited. I think that trait makes people unattractive. In fact, that's at the top of the list of unattractive characteristics. Why would I want to purposely make myself unattractive?
...it's been real luvs --->
...I didn't know I was supposed to be otherwise. Now this is the part where people start to think I have low self-esteem. Well just so you know, I don't. But anywho, back to the topic. Me be cocky? For what? Technically I don't think I have the right to be cocky. I don't think I'm bad or pretty, in general, but I do have my moments. I guess cute fits. I've been called cute pretty much my entire life. I used to hate it but I've learned to accept it. See this is how I look at it. Everybody can't be sexy, gorgeous, or pretty, and everybody can't be ugly or hideous. I think I happen to fall in between that, definitely more towards the attractive side though. But even though I'm completely fine with how I (think I) look I'm still a human and I do need to it be enforced by another every once in a while. But either way, I think my personality is better than my looks. And personality, in my eyes, counts a whole lot more. But even if I did have the "right" I still wouldn't be cocky or conceited. I think that trait makes people unattractive. In fact, that's at the top of the list of unattractive characteristics. Why would I want to purposely make myself unattractive?
...it's been real luvs --->
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Don't You Ever Get To...
When you get comfortable with a person do you think it's necessary to show the same level of appreciation as you did before? I do...but maybe that's just me.
Awaiting Intimacy
Never gazed into the eyes of a man I was engaged in intercourse with for more than 2 seconds. Gazing into his eyes period has rarely ever happened. Passing that time limit is like inviting him to see a glimpse of my soul and granting him free entrance as often as he pleases. Well whoever I grant the 5 second mark, I'll be standing at the altar with.
...it's been real luvs --->
...it's been real luvs --->
Delusions of Grandeur
I have this tendency of thinking I can just switch back to "friend mode" real quick when it comes to a "significant other". It's like part of me genuinely does not understand that once you cross that line you are not longer JUST a friend. But there's sometimes when a situation occurs that prompts me to want to get into his (anyone who's been in this spot) head. I'll say to him, "listen, I'm talking to you as a friend right now". Even then I know it sounds crazy, especially from a male's perspective. What woman is going to ask you a question about yourself/your thoughts that will clearly effect your relationship and then say just talk to her as a friend though? Oh, me. You know what it is, I talk to so many guys about how they feel about their relationships and the issues that come with it that when it comes to my own I don't fully understand that I have to approach it differently. This might be one of the missing pieces to me having a successful relationship: someone that understands my nonsensical logic.
...it's been real luvs --->
...it's been real luvs --->
Sunday, November 14, 2010
New Name, Same Place
I decided to change the name of my blog. "*~It's Spelled Brittanee*~" was getting kind of juvenile to me. I've been thinking about changing it for a while, just didn't know to what. If someone asked me to give them one phrase to describe me I would probably say something along the lines of "it's not supposed to make sense". It fits me perfectly. Most of the things I do and say doesn't makes sense, and I know that. That's what makes my life funny to me. I want to keep the url, though, for the few readers I have. Don't want them to stop reading because they didn't know there was a change. But who knows. I might just change it back to "It's Spelled Brittanee" soon. We'll see.
...it's been real luvs--->
...it's been real luvs--->
Ikea
"The whole candles deal...it's a scam. You burn em, you buy em, you burn em, you buy em." - my uncle Claude
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Kanye West Interview on The Today Show
Kanye really gets on my nerves sometimes. The guy acts like everybody's ALWAYS out to get him. After about 2:50 into the video he was starting to annoy me.From the few times I've watched "The Today Show" I can vouch for them playing a video clip while speaking to the guest. He's so damn sensitive and that sensitivity causes him to always be defensive. But for the most part, he gets the same treatment that every artists gets. Yes, there may be some interviews that are geared to defame an artist's character, but the way Kanye acts you would think he's been present for every single one of those. Come on man, people have to walk on eggshells around this dude. And it greatly irritates me because I'm a big fan of his. I'm going to need him to calm down and stop taking things so personal. "But me being a rational, well thought out, empathetic person..." sike, yall know I'm not rational. That's how he should have ended that sentence. There's two different types of people. There's emotionally-driven indivduals and then there's thought-driven individuals. Personally, I might be in the middle, but my man Kanye here, all the way emotionally-driven. If he wasn't he wouldn't do half the ish that he does.
...it's been real luvs --->
Acceptance
After 22 years of wishing I had bigger breasts I've finally realized why they're small...I hate wearing bras.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Who You Callin A...
Was talking to a friend earlier about how picky he is with choosing friends and that he keeps a only a small circle. Based on the fact that we talk virtually everyday I'd say it's safe to assume I'm on that list. But I jokingly replied "I'm not surprised by that, no surprise I made it tho haha". What his explanation was made me really think (and laugh):
"Well Charles...you're a real bitch...I respect that...and when I say bitch...I mean that with the most respect."
Now I've never been one to accept someone calling me a bitch. I don't even like it when my friends use it as a term of endearment. I always take it to offense. No matter how "flattering" someone tries to make it sound I refuse to be called one. Plenty of people have tried to tell me it's ok to be called a bitch. Yea I know, that's the new "thing" now. But this is my thing...if I tell you I don't want to be called one, don't I have that right? And if you insist on calling me one then I do have the absolute right to get upset. Well anywho, for some reason, this time I just took it as another funny way that a friend described me. But it made me think. Am I getting over this ideal the bitch always has a negative connotation? Probably not. I guess I didn't take it in a wrong way because I'm used to being called a bitch right after an action. At the point in time I hadn't done anything though. I think it was the mystery of the explanation for my new title that made it acceptable. Mystery always intrigues me. I'm sure if he calls me a bitch tomorrow I'll catch an attitude though.
it's been real luvs --->
"Well Charles...you're a real bitch...I respect that...and when I say bitch...I mean that with the most respect."
Now I've never been one to accept someone calling me a bitch. I don't even like it when my friends use it as a term of endearment. I always take it to offense. No matter how "flattering" someone tries to make it sound I refuse to be called one. Plenty of people have tried to tell me it's ok to be called a bitch. Yea I know, that's the new "thing" now. But this is my thing...if I tell you I don't want to be called one, don't I have that right? And if you insist on calling me one then I do have the absolute right to get upset. Well anywho, for some reason, this time I just took it as another funny way that a friend described me. But it made me think. Am I getting over this ideal the bitch always has a negative connotation? Probably not. I guess I didn't take it in a wrong way because I'm used to being called a bitch right after an action. At the point in time I hadn't done anything though. I think it was the mystery of the explanation for my new title that made it acceptable. Mystery always intrigues me. I'm sure if he calls me a bitch tomorrow I'll catch an attitude though.
it's been real luvs --->
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Fear
I'm scared of you because of what we could be and the greatness of it that could be snatched away before my heart can complete one full beat
I'm scared of you because I feel like I could fall in love with you but I don't want to because I'm so scared that there's a possibility of being able to hurt you and I'm terrified that you could easily hurt me without even thinking about it
I'm scared of you because I know that if I give you the chance you can know me better than I know myself
But YOU scare me because you make me want to leave my guard down and look at all my fears with rose colored glasses and have only myself to blame for all the hurt that comes with it
I'm scared of you because I feel like I could fall in love with you but I don't want to because I'm so scared that there's a possibility of being able to hurt you and I'm terrified that you could easily hurt me without even thinking about it
I'm scared of you because I know that if I give you the chance you can know me better than I know myself
But YOU scare me because you make me want to leave my guard down and look at all my fears with rose colored glasses and have only myself to blame for all the hurt that comes with it
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Conversations
Work.
Sex.
Chemistry.
Grandma.
Bus.
Pics.
Gotta remember to talk about all of these whenever I get a call. That's if I don't fall asleep first.
Sex.
Chemistry.
Grandma.
Bus.
Pics.
Gotta remember to talk about all of these whenever I get a call. That's if I don't fall asleep first.
Habits...No Explanation For It
There's a brand new bag a cotton balls on my floor. Been there since I took them out the bag a few hours ago. Will more than likely still be there until I need to open it.
Hear Ye, Hear Ye
I've been starting to post some entries that are just quick thoughts. And I'm realizing my signature takes away from the effect of my random thoughts. It's like darting your head into a room just to say a few words. You don't say "bye" do you? (Well maybe you do to be funny...I would) So from now on post 4 sentences or less will have no signature.
p.S. I thought this would be the first without, but of couse I've managed to go over 4. Watevs
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
p.P.S. "DEUCES" is starting to get on my nerves. Has been for a while, actually, just couldn't think a suitable replacment. But I got it now. I'm going to leave it blank and you put in what ever salutation you're feeling at the moment. So let's try this again.
...it's been real luvs --->
p.S. I thought this would be the first without, but of couse I've managed to go over 4. Watevs
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
p.P.S. "DEUCES" is starting to get on my nerves. Has been for a while, actually, just couldn't think a suitable replacment. But I got it now. I'm going to leave it blank and you put in what ever salutation you're feeling at the moment. So let's try this again.
...it's been real luvs --->
Thought Bubble
Went to Philly this weekend for a friend's birthday. Stayed with him and his boys. During their mini-party one of the girls asked me if he was my boyfriend. I actually paused because I almost said yea. And it was a natual "yea". The pause happened because I started thinking. The pause happened because I started THINKING. They say "think before you act", but should that be applied to everything? Like the L-word. Should it be applied to that? Well for now I'll keep thinking. Thinking is my protection. It was nice to notice what my natural reaction would have been though.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Couldn't Believe It Until I Saw It
Soooo after 4 months and 2 weeks (give or take 3 days) I finally have cable and internet. My uncle told me Friday that someone from Fios was going to come on Tuesday. No parts of me believed it. Why you ask? Because my uncle called. Even though I'm paying for it, the fact that he was involved anywhere in the equation made me skeptical. I even SPOKE to the cable guy before I pulled out the driveway this morning. Still didn't believe it. The proof that I have it: I'm sitting in my bed typing this (actually a pic of this probably would've been better but no thanks).
On another note...did you vote today???? I did!! And it felt good. Unfortunately the Republicans won most of the House, which means Obama will have a much harder time getting his proposals based. As a result, it's going to look like he's a horrible president. Smh. But I bet we'll (and when I say "we'll" I mean Americans in general) elect Bush again if we (again general Americans) could.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
On another note...did you vote today???? I did!! And it felt good. Unfortunately the Republicans won most of the House, which means Obama will have a much harder time getting his proposals based. As a result, it's going to look like he's a horrible president. Smh. But I bet we'll (and when I say "we'll" I mean Americans in general) elect Bush again if we (again general Americans) could.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Creatures of Habit
I attempted to type "anything" 6x this week so far (don't know why I remember that) and each time I typed "anyway" first. Just found that kind of interesting.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 28
Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed?
(yes I know it's October...so what...kick bricks)
Well let's start with the literal changes first:
Can't see it that well but I got highlights (hence why my hair looks lighter)
I no longer have that hoodie in the first pic (silently cries to self). It got messed up in the wash. That was my favorite hoodie.
I graduated from college.
Moved in with my uncle instead of going back to live with my mom.
Don't break out as much.
Ok, let's get to the stuff you really care about:
I've come to the conclusion that I possibly need therapy. Watev. It ain't happening.
Love life, I'm alot happier. Got rid "The Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Me", even though he tries to pop up every so often. That was a huge accomplishment.
I think I'm starting to develop feelings. I missed alot more people this summer than I ever have in my entire life. (not a fan of this)
Haven't been in , as my friend Tiffany likes to call it, "A.M" (anger management) mode in a while. But then again I haven't been around nearly as many people. Yea, we won't really count this one.
Can't think of anything else right now but when I do I'll just add it later. You know I don't do anything traditionally.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
September '09
(yes I know it's October...so what...kick bricks)
Well let's start with the literal changes first:
Can't see it that well but I got highlights (hence why my hair looks lighter)
I no longer have that hoodie in the first pic (silently cries to self). It got messed up in the wash. That was my favorite hoodie.
I graduated from college.
Moved in with my uncle instead of going back to live with my mom.
Don't break out as much.
Ok, let's get to the stuff you really care about:
I've come to the conclusion that I possibly need therapy. Watev. It ain't happening.
Love life, I'm alot happier. Got rid "The Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Me", even though he tries to pop up every so often. That was a huge accomplishment.
I think I'm starting to develop feelings. I missed alot more people this summer than I ever have in my entire life. (not a fan of this)
Haven't been in , as my friend Tiffany likes to call it, "A.M" (anger management) mode in a while. But then again I haven't been around nearly as many people. Yea, we won't really count this one.
Can't think of anything else right now but when I do I'll just add it later. You know I don't do anything traditionally.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 24
Day 24: A letter to your parents
Been staring at this computer screen for the past 11 min trying to figure out where to start. Partly because I was eating sunflower seeds and it’s hard to type and take them out of my mouth (haven’t mastered the art of “eat.spit.be happy.” yet), but mainly because this is going to force me to become emotional. And when I say emotional I mean going so deep into my feelings that I end up crying. It’s rare, but still hate it when it happens. I was thinking that maybe if I was emotional more often then it wouldn’t be such Sweet 16 when I am. Well watev, that won’t be changing any time soon. My goal is finish writing this without even having to barricade a tear. Hey a girl can dream right?
Sidebar: When I really want to write a blog post and I’m home (with no internet…which I am right now) I’ll write it in my notebook. But this one I’m typing in a Word document so I can delete it as soon as I post it. I don’t want to be able to stumble upon this one day. I want no recollection of it. There might be some typos too because I definitely won’t be reading this over. When I write a meaningful (to me at least) post I’ll advertise it (crazy right? Advertising) on Twitter. That will absolutely not be happening today. If you happen to be a usual reader consider yourself lucky. You have just entered the deep world of Brittanee Monee’ Charles and successfully snuck past security.
Hey Daddy,
Remember the “Greatest Dad of All Time” award we gave you last year? That wasn’t my idea. Don’t get me wrong, if we were counting from when I was 14, then yes, you deserve it. If we were counting from birth, then you don’t . Uncle Dario mentions every once in a while how you weren’t around much when we were younger and how we wouldn’t remember it. Well I don’t know about Tiff, but I do. Honestly, it didn’t bother me then and it still doesn’t now. My only issue is you act like you WERE always around. I don’t know if you’re in denial or you just think we don’t remember but I would really appreciate it if you would stop. I should probably correct this. When I say you weren’t around it makes it seem like you were an absent father and I never want anyone to think that. I really mean you weren’t around as much as you think you were. I remember you not living in the house anymore since I was seven, and I mean officially. I remember you staying at grandma’s for months at a time since I was four. Crazy how kids notice the things you think you’re hiding from them. I’ll keep that in mind when I have my own. Now that I think about it, that might have been the beginning of me adopting the “I don’t care” attitude. I always blamed it on mommy, but now I’m realizing you played a small part too.
I was only 11 years old when you changed our lives forever. I remember it like it was yesterday. You came over around 8 that night and you brought Tiff and I into Mommy’s room. That’s when you told us Gina was pregnant and that you would be living with her and we’d be staying there every other weekend. I’m not going to sit here and act like I thought you and mommy were going to get back together or that I even hoped for it, but I for dang sure wasn’t expecting this. You have a pregnant girlfriend? We didn’t even know that you had A girlfriend. But what’s really crazy is I really didn’t care much. Ok, that’s not fully true. I did care to an extent. I care about if it would break up our family, but even by then I learned to keep in my emotions. I cried though. You want to know why? Because Tiff was and I didn’t want you and mommy to think something was wrong with me. I don’t know when or how I learned to do this, but I just turned it into something good for me. I saw it as chance to finally be able to do normal kid stuff since we couldn’t do that with mommy. But then we started coming over and I didn’t like how Gina treated Tiff. Yall excuse was always that Tiff acted out and that she didn’t have to do it because I wasn’t. Correct me if I’m wrong but Tiff was effin 9! She was a little kid! With the situation at hand how do you expect her to act?? And don’t try to use me as a model. Like I said I kept everything in so you weren’t going to see me “act out” anyway. Besides, she wasn’t acting out. She would argue with Gina, and normal arguing at that…that’s it. And Gina acted like she couldn’t be bothered with Tiff. And you know what, if she really couldn’t then fine, but she would put up a front once you came around. Next to the way she treated Tiff in general, that was my next main issue with her. Don’t sit there play pretend because now you’re watching. Even to this day, no matter how many times I’ve told you that you didn’t listen. Then to make matters worse, you always tried to force us into being a “family”. Ish was and is never going to happen, so you should’ve just left it alone. Instead you tricked us into having a “family meeting” and that’s when everything turned upside down. Gina asked me if I liked her and I said no. You wanted us to put everything out there Daddy and we did. Be careful what you wish for. Eventually everybody got over that day and now Tiff and I are completely indifferent to your situation. But you need to understand that we’re never going to be one big happy family. I think the sooner you realize that, the sooner everything will be fine; because the more you push her on us, the more we’re going to push away. You say you’re trying to make it easier for us, but we REALLY don’t care, so all I hear is “I’m trying to make it easier for me.” Honestly Daddy it’s not our fault this might be the first time after Tiff was born that you decided to be faithful.
But I always say, “my dad’s not a good guy, but he’s a great father”. If you didn’t step in as many times as you did I think me and Mommy would’ve gotten into way more arguments than we did. There’s plenty of times you could’ve done a better job but I can tell that you genuinely tried so I wouldn’t tell you that you messed up. I know you can’t help, but you shouldn’t feel bad about how our life was with Mommy. You didn’t know and we didn’t tell you (cuz we didn’t know any better). Although I would have liked for a lot of things to be different, we were fine. I remember you saying to me once that sometimes you had to play the mother and father role. I would definitely say that you did. I would and still will talk to you first about any situation that a girl would typically talk to her mother about because I feel like I can talk to you about anything. So dad I appreciate you being both parents at times when my other parent was always (physically) there. Honestly, I don’t want to marry a man like you. You’re not a gentleman and in the words of Grandma, you’re a bum. Haha. You even said yourself you wouldn’t want us to end up with someone like you. But if I could marry a man who’s would be as good as a father as you that would be perfect.
Love, Britt
Dear Mom,
I’m actually glad that I’m writing this instead of telling you face to face. Just that sentence alone you would have stopped me and tell me I’m wrong and then I’d never get to say what I really wanted to because we’d end up arguing over how you never listen to anyone and you always think you’ve right. I don’t care what you say, it’s true. Apparently everybody knows this but you so that must mean something right? No…not to you. Because you always think you know how everyone is feeling no matter what they tell you. And this is the main reason I can’t talk to you about anything. But don’t feel bad for me (not that I really think you would), I learned at a very early age that you aren’t the parent/family member to talk to so I didn’t miss it. Remember when Daniel broke up with me? I was so extremely heartbroken and all you could do was yell at me. Did you ever stop to think that that was not what I needed at the time? I needed someone to console me. But crazy thing is I already knew you weren’t the person for that, so I didn’t expect it out of you. But I also didn’t expect you to make me feel worse either. After Daddy had a talk with me that’s when you wanted to act like a mom and have your own talk with me. Honestly though I didn’t want you too. When I think of you I think of someone that doesn’t have any feelings, and you’ve proved that to me time and time again.
But I think the worst part about it is that you’re selfish. You’re selfish and you won’t admit it. Excuse me, no, to admit something means you are already aware of it. You have no idea that you’re selfish…and I really don’t know how not. I didn’t realize how bad you are until I got to college and starting talking to other people. Until then, I didn’t necessarily think how you raised us was normal, but I didn’t realize how bad it was either. Seriously, the way I ate in college was about the same that I ate my whole life. I probably ate Ramen noodles more in high school than I did in college. And it’s not because you weren’t home…you were home, just wouldn’t cook. When we did go out to eat with Uncle Dario or Daddy you got mad that we didn’t bring you any food back, then eat our leftovers that we had planned to eat for dinner the next day. But never did you once bring us back food when you went out to eat without us. Honestly, if I’m not at the restaurant with you I don’t expect anyone to bring me back food, but by the way you complained about it when me and Tiff did it you would think that you would bring us back something at least once. I was talking to Daddy the other day about how much money me and Tiff would get for lunch in high school. He said he would give us at least $25 a week. I said no you gave Tiff money and Mommy gave me money, and I was only getting $20 every TWO weeks. He said “No that can’t be right, that’s $2 per day”. I said “ I know, that was a bagel and a water”. Funny thing is he asked why didn’t I tell you that…but I did…plenty of times.
My first winter break in college I was home for a month. You didn’t cook not once until the day I left. You ate well though. I was depressed that break too….lost 10 lbs. Now before you say I could’ve cooked for myself, cooked what? Next to rarely cooking you didn’t teach us how to. That might’ve have helped in our situation. But not feeding us that winter break, not giving me enough lunch $, and never bringing us back food isn’t the point. The point is, in a nutshell, we didn’t come first. It was either the church or you over your own children. You always act like you’re the greatest mother in the world. You did the basic motherly duties, and most of them at a minimum. When it came to us, you were cheap. I hated going shopping with you because we always had to go to the discount stores and you always wanted us to use our own money, our little pocket change. Honestly, if we didn’t have then I could understand that. But Mom you have four cars, three closets full of clothes, and have been building on to the house for 11 years now. In other words, you have no problem spending money when it comes to you. Remember that time I asked you if I got a refund check? You said “no, but even if you did that money would be going to me.” Either way you look at it not it wouldn’t. First of all that money is from student loans, which you told me before I even got to college that won’t be helping me pay those off and secondly Daddy paid for the tuition balance. As many times as you talked about paying you would think I didn’t know that but I did. I know you paid a few times, but not nearly as many times as you make it seem. Everybody that knows you says I’m just like you, even your flaws. I can’t remember the exact day, but I remember realizing that I was selfish and that I didn’t want to be like that. So ever since then genuinely tried not to be. Don’t get me wrong I believe I still am, just not nearly as much as I used to be. And that’s because it’s just in me. But the difference between me and you is that I acknowledge it and try to better myself. I feel like you think you’re a complete angel.
I go out of my way for people a lot more than what I used to, and it might not be acknowledged as much but that’s fine because I didn’t do it for the recognition. When Aunt Wanda died her funeral was on my birthday in North Carolina. I never make a big deal out of my birthday, but this was the first year I actually had plans...it was my 21st. Then to make it worse it was in North Carolina. You know I extremely dislike going down there. You only needed one of us to go down so I did. Even though you didn’t even look like Aunt Wanda’s death affected you (aside from us finding out from Aunt Marcia even though we were with you the day she died and the day after) I went to give you support and I didn’t want Tiff to miss her first days of college. But of course you found a way to make that the worst decision ever. You were going around saying “yea it’s Britt’s birthday, so what. She wants me to take her out to dinner. For what?” You were right though. For what? Why would I want to go to dinner with you? For maybe the fourth time in my entire life I tried to tell you how I felt, but as usual acted like I felt any type of way for no reason. And I’ll never forget what you said to me. After yelling at me for being so selfish to even be remotely sad that I didn’t celebrate my birthday you said “I came down here to show face and you are upset that you didn’t get to celebrate your birthday?!!! You’re selfish Brittanee! You’re selfish!” Crazy thing is, that’s not what I was upset about. I was upset that even though I wasn’t even telling people it was my birthday (because that’s not what I thought the focus of the day should have been on) my COUSINS wanted to celebrate my birthday more than my own mother did. Aside from what I was upset about, what stood out from us arguing for a half hour was “I came down here to show face”. Your sister dies and you just came to show face. Besides that sounding crazy off the bat, you made it seem like someone was twisting your arm to do it. I already starting thinking this a few years before, but that day solidified for me the idea that I don’t want to be anything like you. As harsh as that may sound I really don’t think it’s going to affect you because you don’t seem to have emotions anyway. I already know I get that from you. It’s a survival tactic. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t like this. I can’t keep a tight consistent relationship with friends, I haven’t hugged my sisters (cousins included) since they were 8 even though I love them very much, and I can’t get a boyfriend for nothing. But it is what it is. At the end of the day though, if I had the choice for Tiff to go through all this I’d still take it. I guess the one thing you can say that you have successfully accomplished is you are the only person that can ever get me to my breaking point. I really don’t know why, because I know you’re going to tell me I’m wrong about how you make me feel, so in all actuality, getting upset about anything with you is pointless (hence me being void of emotion 75% of the time). I guess, subconsciously, I just hope that maybe once you would actually act like my mom and care. But like I said, it is what it is.
-Britt
If anyone is wondering I didn’t accomplish my goal.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Been staring at this computer screen for the past 11 min trying to figure out where to start. Partly because I was eating sunflower seeds and it’s hard to type and take them out of my mouth (haven’t mastered the art of “eat.spit.be happy.” yet), but mainly because this is going to force me to become emotional. And when I say emotional I mean going so deep into my feelings that I end up crying. It’s rare, but still hate it when it happens. I was thinking that maybe if I was emotional more often then it wouldn’t be such Sweet 16 when I am. Well watev, that won’t be changing any time soon. My goal is finish writing this without even having to barricade a tear. Hey a girl can dream right?
Sidebar: When I really want to write a blog post and I’m home (with no internet…which I am right now) I’ll write it in my notebook. But this one I’m typing in a Word document so I can delete it as soon as I post it. I don’t want to be able to stumble upon this one day. I want no recollection of it. There might be some typos too because I definitely won’t be reading this over. When I write a meaningful (to me at least) post I’ll advertise it (crazy right? Advertising) on Twitter. That will absolutely not be happening today. If you happen to be a usual reader consider yourself lucky. You have just entered the deep world of Brittanee Monee’ Charles and successfully snuck past security.
Hey Daddy,
Remember the “Greatest Dad of All Time” award we gave you last year? That wasn’t my idea. Don’t get me wrong, if we were counting from when I was 14, then yes, you deserve it. If we were counting from birth, then you don’t . Uncle Dario mentions every once in a while how you weren’t around much when we were younger and how we wouldn’t remember it. Well I don’t know about Tiff, but I do. Honestly, it didn’t bother me then and it still doesn’t now. My only issue is you act like you WERE always around. I don’t know if you’re in denial or you just think we don’t remember but I would really appreciate it if you would stop. I should probably correct this. When I say you weren’t around it makes it seem like you were an absent father and I never want anyone to think that. I really mean you weren’t around as much as you think you were. I remember you not living in the house anymore since I was seven, and I mean officially. I remember you staying at grandma’s for months at a time since I was four. Crazy how kids notice the things you think you’re hiding from them. I’ll keep that in mind when I have my own. Now that I think about it, that might have been the beginning of me adopting the “I don’t care” attitude. I always blamed it on mommy, but now I’m realizing you played a small part too.
I was only 11 years old when you changed our lives forever. I remember it like it was yesterday. You came over around 8 that night and you brought Tiff and I into Mommy’s room. That’s when you told us Gina was pregnant and that you would be living with her and we’d be staying there every other weekend. I’m not going to sit here and act like I thought you and mommy were going to get back together or that I even hoped for it, but I for dang sure wasn’t expecting this. You have a pregnant girlfriend? We didn’t even know that you had A girlfriend. But what’s really crazy is I really didn’t care much. Ok, that’s not fully true. I did care to an extent. I care about if it would break up our family, but even by then I learned to keep in my emotions. I cried though. You want to know why? Because Tiff was and I didn’t want you and mommy to think something was wrong with me. I don’t know when or how I learned to do this, but I just turned it into something good for me. I saw it as chance to finally be able to do normal kid stuff since we couldn’t do that with mommy. But then we started coming over and I didn’t like how Gina treated Tiff. Yall excuse was always that Tiff acted out and that she didn’t have to do it because I wasn’t. Correct me if I’m wrong but Tiff was effin 9! She was a little kid! With the situation at hand how do you expect her to act?? And don’t try to use me as a model. Like I said I kept everything in so you weren’t going to see me “act out” anyway. Besides, she wasn’t acting out. She would argue with Gina, and normal arguing at that…that’s it. And Gina acted like she couldn’t be bothered with Tiff. And you know what, if she really couldn’t then fine, but she would put up a front once you came around. Next to the way she treated Tiff in general, that was my next main issue with her. Don’t sit there play pretend because now you’re watching. Even to this day, no matter how many times I’ve told you that you didn’t listen. Then to make matters worse, you always tried to force us into being a “family”. Ish was and is never going to happen, so you should’ve just left it alone. Instead you tricked us into having a “family meeting” and that’s when everything turned upside down. Gina asked me if I liked her and I said no. You wanted us to put everything out there Daddy and we did. Be careful what you wish for. Eventually everybody got over that day and now Tiff and I are completely indifferent to your situation. But you need to understand that we’re never going to be one big happy family. I think the sooner you realize that, the sooner everything will be fine; because the more you push her on us, the more we’re going to push away. You say you’re trying to make it easier for us, but we REALLY don’t care, so all I hear is “I’m trying to make it easier for me.” Honestly Daddy it’s not our fault this might be the first time after Tiff was born that you decided to be faithful.
But I always say, “my dad’s not a good guy, but he’s a great father”. If you didn’t step in as many times as you did I think me and Mommy would’ve gotten into way more arguments than we did. There’s plenty of times you could’ve done a better job but I can tell that you genuinely tried so I wouldn’t tell you that you messed up. I know you can’t help, but you shouldn’t feel bad about how our life was with Mommy. You didn’t know and we didn’t tell you (cuz we didn’t know any better). Although I would have liked for a lot of things to be different, we were fine. I remember you saying to me once that sometimes you had to play the mother and father role. I would definitely say that you did. I would and still will talk to you first about any situation that a girl would typically talk to her mother about because I feel like I can talk to you about anything. So dad I appreciate you being both parents at times when my other parent was always (physically) there. Honestly, I don’t want to marry a man like you. You’re not a gentleman and in the words of Grandma, you’re a bum. Haha. You even said yourself you wouldn’t want us to end up with someone like you. But if I could marry a man who’s would be as good as a father as you that would be perfect.
Love, Britt
Dear Mom,
I’m actually glad that I’m writing this instead of telling you face to face. Just that sentence alone you would have stopped me and tell me I’m wrong and then I’d never get to say what I really wanted to because we’d end up arguing over how you never listen to anyone and you always think you’ve right. I don’t care what you say, it’s true. Apparently everybody knows this but you so that must mean something right? No…not to you. Because you always think you know how everyone is feeling no matter what they tell you. And this is the main reason I can’t talk to you about anything. But don’t feel bad for me (not that I really think you would), I learned at a very early age that you aren’t the parent/family member to talk to so I didn’t miss it. Remember when Daniel broke up with me? I was so extremely heartbroken and all you could do was yell at me. Did you ever stop to think that that was not what I needed at the time? I needed someone to console me. But crazy thing is I already knew you weren’t the person for that, so I didn’t expect it out of you. But I also didn’t expect you to make me feel worse either. After Daddy had a talk with me that’s when you wanted to act like a mom and have your own talk with me. Honestly though I didn’t want you too. When I think of you I think of someone that doesn’t have any feelings, and you’ve proved that to me time and time again.
But I think the worst part about it is that you’re selfish. You’re selfish and you won’t admit it. Excuse me, no, to admit something means you are already aware of it. You have no idea that you’re selfish…and I really don’t know how not. I didn’t realize how bad you are until I got to college and starting talking to other people. Until then, I didn’t necessarily think how you raised us was normal, but I didn’t realize how bad it was either. Seriously, the way I ate in college was about the same that I ate my whole life. I probably ate Ramen noodles more in high school than I did in college. And it’s not because you weren’t home…you were home, just wouldn’t cook. When we did go out to eat with Uncle Dario or Daddy you got mad that we didn’t bring you any food back, then eat our leftovers that we had planned to eat for dinner the next day. But never did you once bring us back food when you went out to eat without us. Honestly, if I’m not at the restaurant with you I don’t expect anyone to bring me back food, but by the way you complained about it when me and Tiff did it you would think that you would bring us back something at least once. I was talking to Daddy the other day about how much money me and Tiff would get for lunch in high school. He said he would give us at least $25 a week. I said no you gave Tiff money and Mommy gave me money, and I was only getting $20 every TWO weeks. He said “No that can’t be right, that’s $2 per day”. I said “ I know, that was a bagel and a water”. Funny thing is he asked why didn’t I tell you that…but I did…plenty of times.
My first winter break in college I was home for a month. You didn’t cook not once until the day I left. You ate well though. I was depressed that break too….lost 10 lbs. Now before you say I could’ve cooked for myself, cooked what? Next to rarely cooking you didn’t teach us how to. That might’ve have helped in our situation. But not feeding us that winter break, not giving me enough lunch $, and never bringing us back food isn’t the point. The point is, in a nutshell, we didn’t come first. It was either the church or you over your own children. You always act like you’re the greatest mother in the world. You did the basic motherly duties, and most of them at a minimum. When it came to us, you were cheap. I hated going shopping with you because we always had to go to the discount stores and you always wanted us to use our own money, our little pocket change. Honestly, if we didn’t have then I could understand that. But Mom you have four cars, three closets full of clothes, and have been building on to the house for 11 years now. In other words, you have no problem spending money when it comes to you. Remember that time I asked you if I got a refund check? You said “no, but even if you did that money would be going to me.” Either way you look at it not it wouldn’t. First of all that money is from student loans, which you told me before I even got to college that won’t be helping me pay those off and secondly Daddy paid for the tuition balance. As many times as you talked about paying you would think I didn’t know that but I did. I know you paid a few times, but not nearly as many times as you make it seem. Everybody that knows you says I’m just like you, even your flaws. I can’t remember the exact day, but I remember realizing that I was selfish and that I didn’t want to be like that. So ever since then genuinely tried not to be. Don’t get me wrong I believe I still am, just not nearly as much as I used to be. And that’s because it’s just in me. But the difference between me and you is that I acknowledge it and try to better myself. I feel like you think you’re a complete angel.
I go out of my way for people a lot more than what I used to, and it might not be acknowledged as much but that’s fine because I didn’t do it for the recognition. When Aunt Wanda died her funeral was on my birthday in North Carolina. I never make a big deal out of my birthday, but this was the first year I actually had plans...it was my 21st. Then to make it worse it was in North Carolina. You know I extremely dislike going down there. You only needed one of us to go down so I did. Even though you didn’t even look like Aunt Wanda’s death affected you (aside from us finding out from Aunt Marcia even though we were with you the day she died and the day after) I went to give you support and I didn’t want Tiff to miss her first days of college. But of course you found a way to make that the worst decision ever. You were going around saying “yea it’s Britt’s birthday, so what. She wants me to take her out to dinner. For what?” You were right though. For what? Why would I want to go to dinner with you? For maybe the fourth time in my entire life I tried to tell you how I felt, but as usual acted like I felt any type of way for no reason. And I’ll never forget what you said to me. After yelling at me for being so selfish to even be remotely sad that I didn’t celebrate my birthday you said “I came down here to show face and you are upset that you didn’t get to celebrate your birthday?!!! You’re selfish Brittanee! You’re selfish!” Crazy thing is, that’s not what I was upset about. I was upset that even though I wasn’t even telling people it was my birthday (because that’s not what I thought the focus of the day should have been on) my COUSINS wanted to celebrate my birthday more than my own mother did. Aside from what I was upset about, what stood out from us arguing for a half hour was “I came down here to show face”. Your sister dies and you just came to show face. Besides that sounding crazy off the bat, you made it seem like someone was twisting your arm to do it. I already starting thinking this a few years before, but that day solidified for me the idea that I don’t want to be anything like you. As harsh as that may sound I really don’t think it’s going to affect you because you don’t seem to have emotions anyway. I already know I get that from you. It’s a survival tactic. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t like this. I can’t keep a tight consistent relationship with friends, I haven’t hugged my sisters (cousins included) since they were 8 even though I love them very much, and I can’t get a boyfriend for nothing. But it is what it is. At the end of the day though, if I had the choice for Tiff to go through all this I’d still take it. I guess the one thing you can say that you have successfully accomplished is you are the only person that can ever get me to my breaking point. I really don’t know why, because I know you’re going to tell me I’m wrong about how you make me feel, so in all actuality, getting upset about anything with you is pointless (hence me being void of emotion 75% of the time). I guess, subconsciously, I just hope that maybe once you would actually act like my mom and care. But like I said, it is what it is.
-Britt
If anyone is wondering I didn’t accomplish my goal.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 20
Day 20: Your celebrity crush
::rubs hands together:: ooooh this is exciting
Mr. Paul William Walker IV. MMMM!! He's so good looking!! And I specifically got a pic with abs because they are my weakness. This man has been in my top 5 since "She's All That"...and how long ago was that? Yes, this man still looks sc-rumptious. Haven't had any black males that really do it that much for me in a while. WAIT!! I lied. Idris Elba is definitely up there. Yeeeaaaa
...it's been real luvs--->DEUCES
::rubs hands together:: ooooh this is exciting
Mr. Paul William Walker IV. MMMM!! He's so good looking!! And I specifically got a pic with abs because they are my weakness. This man has been in my top 5 since "She's All That"...and how long ago was that? Yes, this man still looks sc-rumptious. Haven't had any black males that really do it that much for me in a while. WAIT!! I lied. Idris Elba is definitely up there. Yeeeaaaa
...it's been real luvs--->DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 25
Day 25: What I would find in your bag
Well let's start with the basics/must-haves.
1. Lip Smacker's Chapstick
2. My Phone
3. My Wallet (id, atm card, $, comb)
4. Scrunchie
5. Hair Clip
6. Pen
In this bag specifically though, I have a whole bunch of receipts and papers I need to throw out, headphones, keys (actually that's on the main list), lipgloss, brush, and a pair of shades that are missing one lens. Don't laugh, I was pissed off when I found them the other day. I was driving to work and the glare from the sun was ridiculous and I find them like that. (-______-) the pitts. Oh, and most times I'll have one of my handy dandy scarves in there too. Speaking of, I need to rack up on those. The bag I have with me at this moment is an "Angry Little Girls" bag. It's two girls on it. One says "What are you doing?" The other replies "Writing down how many times you annoy me" If that doesn't fit me I don't know what does.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Well let's start with the basics/must-haves.
1. Lip Smacker's Chapstick
2. My Phone
3. My Wallet (id, atm card, $, comb)
4. Scrunchie
5. Hair Clip
6. Pen
In this bag specifically though, I have a whole bunch of receipts and papers I need to throw out, headphones, keys (actually that's on the main list), lipgloss, brush, and a pair of shades that are missing one lens. Don't laugh, I was pissed off when I found them the other day. I was driving to work and the glare from the sun was ridiculous and I find them like that. (-______-) the pitts. Oh, and most times I'll have one of my handy dandy scarves in there too. Speaking of, I need to rack up on those. The bag I have with me at this moment is an "Angry Little Girls" bag. It's two girls on it. One says "What are you doing?" The other replies "Writing down how many times you annoy me" If that doesn't fit me I don't know what does.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 29
So according to the calender I should be up to Day 29, which meeeaaans I owe you guys 10 posts. Eeehhh I can probably knock out at least 2 of those today. I already know off the bat, looking at the list, that Day 17 and 24 are going to require me to really sit down and examine myself. Actually looking back at that list, I really should be done with this challenge by a day or two. Well the weekend's finally here and I'm relaxing so I'll try my best. Anywho, on to the today's challenge.
Day 29: What you wore today
From top to bottom: cream oversized cardigan with an emblem, gray tee, dark blue skinny jeans, and gray flats
Depending on how I'm feeling in the morning I might have been dressed more business-like since I did come from work. But my job is really laidback. You really have the option to dress however you feel (obviously in an acceptable manner though). Yesterday I had on slacks, a long sleeve shirt and a vest. My boss might come in to work in a suit one day and leggings another. And most days, she'll be in leggings. But that's not importance, that's not important. I guess I'm supposed to talk about the significance of this outfit. Hmm ok, well I bought this cardigan recently. Saw it and had to have it. As I'm writing this my sister just asked "Champton, where'd you get that beautiful sweater from?" But she's an idiot. This gray tee? I need to get a new one. It's slightly stretched out. I need someone to remind me to buy a new one between now and December. Thanks. The jeans? Yea watev, they're jeans. There's nothing special about them. And I need to get new flats too but they're doable. Mind you, as I'm typing this my sister's currently dying laughing at my outfit. I don't know why. Doesn't matter. Haven't been a fan of her's since at least '94. Haha.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Day 29: What you wore today
From top to bottom: cream oversized cardigan with an emblem, gray tee, dark blue skinny jeans, and gray flats
Depending on how I'm feeling in the morning I might have been dressed more business-like since I did come from work. But my job is really laidback. You really have the option to dress however you feel (obviously in an acceptable manner though). Yesterday I had on slacks, a long sleeve shirt and a vest. My boss might come in to work in a suit one day and leggings another. And most days, she'll be in leggings. But that's not importance, that's not important. I guess I'm supposed to talk about the significance of this outfit. Hmm ok, well I bought this cardigan recently. Saw it and had to have it. As I'm writing this my sister just asked "Champton, where'd you get that beautiful sweater from?" But she's an idiot. This gray tee? I need to get a new one. It's slightly stretched out. I need someone to remind me to buy a new one between now and December. Thanks. The jeans? Yea watev, they're jeans. There's nothing special about them. And I need to get new flats too but they're doable. Mind you, as I'm typing this my sister's currently dying laughing at my outfit. I don't know why. Doesn't matter. Haven't been a fan of her's since at least '94. Haha.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Is Ya CRAZY?!
Still at work but I'm about to fall asleep so I'm going to vent to keep me up. And I don't care what anyone says. Anywho, so it's about time for a trim. My friend back at Temple was going to do it for me but we were rushing to go to a party. Since I'm back home I asked another friend to do it. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS CHICK SAID?! She said "its $25 for a wash and cut and $20 for a trim". Now I'm not trying to be funny,but I can get the Dominicans to trim my hair for $5, $10 tops. So I say "$20? For a trim???" She says "oh I meant a cut, it's $15 for a trim". Negro you STILL wylin!! I don't know about you, but unless I'm doing some outlandish ish, I'm not charging my friends jack. Homegirl must really think she's doing hair in a salon in the Upper East Side or something. I told her I'd rather go to the Dominicans and she said fine $7. Honestly the only reason I'm letting her do it is 'cuz at the end of the convo it was sounding more like she just needed it. And I'm not being cheap, it's the principle. That would've been a straight hustle and I AIN'T wit it. Ok I have a half hour of work left and I actually have something to do so I'm out haha.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Friday, October 15, 2010
Fantastic Voyage
Today should be quite interesting. I'm driving to Philly today for homecoming right after work. Got up at 6 (ok 6:20) to make it to Enterprise as soon as they open so I could get to work by 8 to leave at 4:30. Hoooowever, my uncle took 15 min to get there when it's only 5 min away, which means I got to work at 8:20. You think I ain't gonna leave at 4:30 though?? Hmm! I need to beat as much traffic as possible, plus I have to pick up my friend on the way. Monsters will be on deck between 1 and 4. I just got here and I already fell the fatigue coming. I haven't eaten though so that might be part of it. Anywho, prepare not to hear from me to at least Monday. As soon as 4:30 hits I'm on my o.d. hype ish. The necessary people have been warned.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Clap Clap Bravo
Got into work a little early so I got a few minutes before my boss gets here....this is going to be quick.
I can't say I'm a die hard fan of hip hop. Alot of times I'm late on the newest song and I for damn sure won't know any underground. But I love Kanye West. Loved him since he first came out. He had me at "hello my mouth's wired shut" and I've been with him ever since. BET Hip Hop Awards ---> complete fail in my eyes. The only thing that kept me watching was anticipating the G.O.O.D. Music cypher. My response: I need someone to make this downloadable ASAP. It was crazy. EVERYBODY was crazy. If I had to choose one I'd say Pusha T had the best verse overall. First time hearing Big Sean and Cyphi da Prince, no doubt they deserved to be there. My main homie Kanye and Common both had their shining minutes (minutes are longer than moments, don't you think?). Can't say I'm different from everybody else with my favorite line. Hands down "too many Urkels on ya team, that's why ya wins low". Randomly thought about that and the insinuation to be louder and started dying. Deadass dying by myself in my car. I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THIS. Expect heavy rotation once it is. Heavy like I'll be spittin it off the top of the cranium. That's how you know I love a song. Play it on repeat til it's in my DNA. Reciting it like it's my times tables. In third grade we had to stand until you got them all correct, no mistakes. Let's just say I always took an early seat.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
I can't say I'm a die hard fan of hip hop. Alot of times I'm late on the newest song and I for damn sure won't know any underground. But I love Kanye West. Loved him since he first came out. He had me at "hello my mouth's wired shut" and I've been with him ever since. BET Hip Hop Awards ---> complete fail in my eyes. The only thing that kept me watching was anticipating the G.O.O.D. Music cypher. My response: I need someone to make this downloadable ASAP. It was crazy. EVERYBODY was crazy. If I had to choose one I'd say Pusha T had the best verse overall. First time hearing Big Sean and Cyphi da Prince, no doubt they deserved to be there. My main homie Kanye and Common both had their shining minutes (minutes are longer than moments, don't you think?). Can't say I'm different from everybody else with my favorite line. Hands down "too many Urkels on ya team, that's why ya wins low". Randomly thought about that and the insinuation to be louder and started dying. Deadass dying by myself in my car. I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THIS. Expect heavy rotation once it is. Heavy like I'll be spittin it off the top of the cranium. That's how you know I love a song. Play it on repeat til it's in my DNA. Reciting it like it's my times tables. In third grade we had to stand until you got them all correct, no mistakes. Let's just say I always took an early seat.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 19
Day 19: Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Oooooh goodie!! I love nicknames!!! Seriously I do though. I'll start with the ones I hate first so I don't end up upset by the end of this post.
Brittisaurus - I HATE HATE HATE this nickname. It's dumb and it's stupid. One of my aunts calls me that...the annoying one. (-____-) That should explain it.
Britty - I tolerate it but I'm not a fan of this one either. I don't remember how or who came up with it, but whoever it was I'm upset with you.
Britt - Obviously this is the standard nickname for every version of Brittany. It's not my favorite but it doesn't bother me.
Don't know if you realized the trend but I'm not a big fan of nicknames that come from my first name. Anyway on to the good ones.
N.A.S - My friends in hs made this up and wouldn't tell me why they were calling me that for 2,3 weeks. I finally found out it meant Nod and Smile. Reason being I talk so fast that you can't understand me. ::rolling my eyes:: I guess...haha
Pattywat - My mom's been calling me this since I was 1. Translated it means "Fat Rat". This is just how to say that in "baby talk". Honestly my mom can call me this in front of anyone and I wouldn't be embarrassed.
B.Charles - My P.I.G teacher started calling me that in hs and then all the white people ran with it
Champ - Courtesy of my sister. We used to always come up with nicknames for eachother and stopped at this one (her's is Chief). Variations: Champton, Champti-on
Charlez - Homies just started calling me Charles and that was that. I actually think it was because they didn't want to say Brittanee. Watev...it was a win-win.
Charlie - Clearly a variation of Charlez, but I had to give it it's own spot because I like it that much
Kerrmi - I had a cold and woke up with a groggy voice. I told him (yea, that him) and he started calling me Kermit the Frog. Eventually became Kerrmi. And yea it's spelled with two r's...or is it two i's? I don't remember haha. Probably my favorite nickname right now, mostly because it has nothing to do with my name. I prefer those. Variations: Kermit, Kerm
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Oooooh goodie!! I love nicknames!!! Seriously I do though. I'll start with the ones I hate first so I don't end up upset by the end of this post.
Brittisaurus - I HATE HATE HATE this nickname. It's dumb and it's stupid. One of my aunts calls me that...the annoying one. (-____-) That should explain it.
Britty - I tolerate it but I'm not a fan of this one either. I don't remember how or who came up with it, but whoever it was I'm upset with you.
Britt - Obviously this is the standard nickname for every version of Brittany. It's not my favorite but it doesn't bother me.
Don't know if you realized the trend but I'm not a big fan of nicknames that come from my first name. Anyway on to the good ones.
N.A.S - My friends in hs made this up and wouldn't tell me why they were calling me that for 2,3 weeks. I finally found out it meant Nod and Smile. Reason being I talk so fast that you can't understand me. ::rolling my eyes:: I guess...haha
Pattywat - My mom's been calling me this since I was 1. Translated it means "Fat Rat". This is just how to say that in "baby talk". Honestly my mom can call me this in front of anyone and I wouldn't be embarrassed.
B.Charles - My P.I.G teacher started calling me that in hs and then all the white people ran with it
Champ - Courtesy of my sister. We used to always come up with nicknames for eachother and stopped at this one (her's is Chief). Variations: Champton, Champti-on
Charlez - Homies just started calling me Charles and that was that. I actually think it was because they didn't want to say Brittanee. Watev...it was a win-win.
Charlie - Clearly a variation of Charlez, but I had to give it it's own spot because I like it that much
Kerrmi - I had a cold and woke up with a groggy voice. I told him (yea, that him) and he started calling me Kermit the Frog. Eventually became Kerrmi. And yea it's spelled with two r's...or is it two i's? I don't remember haha. Probably my favorite nickname right now, mostly because it has nothing to do with my name. I prefer those. Variations: Kermit, Kerm
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
And the Beat Goes On...
Thirty Day Challenge...yea I might have to put that on pause. Well maybe not on pause, but I just don't want to do 3 days in 1 anymore. When I do that I always end up writing really shorts entries that are rushed. That's not fair to me and it's not fair to you, the six people that read this. I mean I'm not going to act like I've never had my hiatuses but for the past few months I've wanted to talk about so much. When I don't have immediate access to the internet is when I want to stay consistent. I hate the irony in this. Then there's the Challenge. It's become such a top priority that (besides not being able to share the minute I'm thinking of anything) I don't get the chance to just talk about the random stuff in my life...and you (should) know (by now) I live for the random stuff. And you know what, since I'm random, for the days I have missed I'm jumping around until I'm up to date...whenever that happens. So the last day I left off on was Day 17. I think I'll do Day 19.
Oh by the way, I really don't think this entry's title correlates to this post...well it didn't at first. Anyway, it was the first thing that came to my head...if you were wondering.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Oh by the way, I really don't think this entry's title correlates to this post...well it didn't at first. Anyway, it was the first thing that came to my head...if you were wondering.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Friday, October 8, 2010
I Gots Me A Jizzob!!
Sooooo I had an interview with Macy's today for an Administrative Support Team Associate. Besides waiting almost an hour for my interviewer and this white chick deadass walking in with leggings and boots on for her interview, it went pretty well. The guy told me I'd hear from him on Monday to schedule another interview. Sounds great. But then as soon as I get in the car this guy I've been talking to from a temp agency called and told me about another available position. Now typically I don't pay him any mind because since July he's been telling me about positions and saying I can start asap and then disappears for about two weeks. So you can see why I don't depend on him much. BUT this time he offered me a job that I really could start immediately (i.e. Monday). The job is full time and decent pay. Since it's a contract job it ends in December, possibly January, which is perfect since I plan on starting classes at Hofstra in January so I wouldn't be able to do full time anyway. Needless to say, I'm HYPE. This definitely came at the perfect time since I'm going to Temple next weekend and I needed a way to pay myself back. The whole ride home I was blasting "Whip My Hair" and "See Me Now" and dancing. If people were staring I wouldn't be surprised. Now I'm gonna go home and blast "Take Me Home" (LIL Bow Wow...throwbaaack) and do the Harlem. I'm od hype today maaan. Ain't nobody bringing me down.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 17
Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for a day and why
Truthfully, I'm dumb sleepy and I've been writing for the past 4 hrs. And I believe this post requires more than three sentences. In other words, there's no way I'll be writing this today. When I do get around to it I'll just call it "Day 17 (Part 2)".
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Truthfully, I'm dumb sleepy and I've been writing for the past 4 hrs. And I believe this post requires more than three sentences. In other words, there's no way I'll be writing this today. When I do get around to it I'll just call it "Day 17 (Part 2)".
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 16
Day 16: Another picture of yourself
Arguably my favorite picture of myself. I really don't know why. I don't think I'm that pretty in this pic. Even though it's my profile I feel like it's just me...plain and simple.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 15
Day 15: Put your Ipod on Shuffle: List first 10 songs
1. Picture Perfect - Chris Brown ft. Will.i.am
2. Understanding - Xscape
3. How Deep Is Your Love - Dru Hill
4. Get It On the Floor - DMX ft. Swiss Beatz
5. Again - Faith Evans
6. Shadow - Ashlee Simpson
7. We Need a Resolution - Aaliyah ft. Timberland
8. Love Like This Before - Faith Evans
9. Through the Wire - Kanye West
10. Tie My Hands - Lil Wayne ft. Robin Thicke
Don't know why my Itunes is in it's R&B bag right now. Of all the times I've had to play the shuffle game that's never happened. Weird. Shoutout to "Through the Wire" though. My homie Jay and I used to stay singing/rapping this in the hallways in high school all the time. He always messed up on the second verse (lol). Good times
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
1. Picture Perfect - Chris Brown ft. Will.i.am
2. Understanding - Xscape
3. How Deep Is Your Love - Dru Hill
4. Get It On the Floor - DMX ft. Swiss Beatz
5. Again - Faith Evans
6. Shadow - Ashlee Simpson
7. We Need a Resolution - Aaliyah ft. Timberland
8. Love Like This Before - Faith Evans
9. Through the Wire - Kanye West
10. Tie My Hands - Lil Wayne ft. Robin Thicke
Don't know why my Itunes is in it's R&B bag right now. Of all the times I've had to play the shuffle game that's never happened. Weird. Shoutout to "Through the Wire" though. My homie Jay and I used to stay singing/rapping this in the hallways in high school all the time. He always messed up on the second verse (lol). Good times
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 14
Day 14: A picture of you and your family
Not the greatest pic that's the only one I have on my computer. I'm just noticing that we don't take alot of pics and when we do there's never anybody in it. My little sister and my uncle aren't in it. Well my little sister wasn't there and my uncle took it, as usual.
Excuse my hair, I left my hair products at home...no seriously. But anyway, these are my sisters and my cousin at her hs graduation. I think that's everybody.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Not the greatest pic that's the only one I have on my computer. I'm just noticing that we don't take alot of pics and when we do there's never anybody in it. My little sister and my uncle aren't in it. Well my little sister wasn't there and my uncle took it, as usual.
Excuse my hair, I left my hair products at home...no seriously. But anyway, these are my sisters and my cousin at her hs graduation. I think that's everybody.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Sitting On the Other Side of the Table
Apparently the "Adventures of Stache" are back on. I feel like every time I talk about this guy I think it's going to be the last and then he pops up again. Two years ago I wished he would want me more. You know what, honestly (and this is the first time I'm admitting this), deep down,I even wished this six months ago. Now, I've been doing well without him and I'd like to keep it that way. But I feel like he knows this because as many times as I've turned him down he won't go away. Well they say be careful what you wish for right? Our last conversation he TOLD me to make time for him this weekend. Mind you, this is after I told him the LAST time we spoke about it that it's not happening. But that part wasn't shocking. (He's an derf so he doesn't know how to act.) What was shocking was after I asked him if he was threatening me (he was) he said "you know I would never threaten you babe, I only gots love for you". Babe? Love? O_o whaaat??? After the first three months of our "relationship" he hasn't said one nice thing to me. I figure either he's about to die or he's on that oowee. Either way I'm good. The only good thing that's coming out of this is I can now say, honestly and truely, he no longer has a hold on me. Ahhh feels good.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Job: It's a Three Letter Word
October 15, 2010. The day I'm driving down to Philadelphia for Temple's Homecoming. October 15, 2010. The day I planned on being employed for at least two months. The day I planned on having a bank account with at least $700 in it. And the day I planned on having internet and cable (yes I brought this up again...I'm still mad). So October 15th is what? Eight days away. I really think I can have a job by then. At the rate I'm going I probably won't. But I'm not going to keep that mentality. I applied to five retail jobs yesterday. Two at the mall. Honestly, on my list of places I absolutely don't want to work at, the mall might be #3. #5 might be in retail in general. The other two are David's Bridal and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I figure if I have to work in retail it might as well be in a store I like being in. I love all aspects of weddings --->David's Bridal. And as weird as this may sound (hey it's me) new sheets and bed spreads make me happy (lol) ---> Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Oh! Oh! Correction! I DO have a job. A job that I need to get rid of ASAP. This "job" has NO type of organization. It's a sham. Basically it's me starting a basketball program up from scratch. That would be fine if 1. it was something I was passionate about 2. I KNEW this is what my "position" entailed and 3. there was some sort of organization. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for "start-up" projects and organizations, but for you to take part in that I feel you have to be passionate about it. Like the Ultimate Frisbee Tournament I had to benefit Haiti, that my group and I had to start from scratch. However, I was extremely passionate about it so "scratch" meant nothing to me. That event was my baby. But this program isn't my baby. Shoot, it's not even my step-child. To make matters even better, (besides my dad signing me up for the job before I even knew about it) my position was explained to me as being almost like an office manager. On my "first day" at work though, "my boss" talked for an hour about ish we already spoke about and then parts that he left out, which would have clarified what my position really was from the beginning. However, by the end of the conversation I realized I was handling EVERY aspect of this project. I really believe that even he thought this was a bunch of bull because I felt like he was trying to sell me the position. I hate when people try to sell you a position. Completely turns me off. Anyway, when I got to the building I couldn't find my boss and was sent on a wild goose chase by a man that questioned me as if I was a criminal, even though he looked like he had just finished taking a needle. Luckily, after searching for him for at least 30 min, a secretary in another building got a hold of him through Clay...who also happens to be the same man that sent me away knowing damn well Mike ("my boss") was only 20ft away from him. But not only did the secretary find him for me, but she also explained to him that he has to inform the managers that he's having someone working under him. Really? I mean do you really have to tell the people you work for that you're bringing in someone under you? Seriously, I want to know what this guy was thinking. Oh and theeen it was also a problem for insurance reasons. Since most of the guys that play ball come from the drug rehab center right next door and I would be the only female in the building during the hours I work, they have to know about me in case anything happens to me. "In case anything happens to me"???? Yea I'm good. And then the last issue. Mike hasn't even confirmed with the person that would be paying me what days I will be working, how many hours I will be working, or how often I will be getting paid. However, when we first talked all of this was so-called figured out. Don't know about you but that's enough reason for me to decline. BUT on a brighter note, I'm crossing my fingers to have a job by next week. Do me a favor and cross your fingers too.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
This Has To Change...
Ok so this internet thing is really becoming the fucking pitts. Besides having to leave the comfort of my home to use the computer, besides not being able to enlighten myself as soon as I think about something (which I so often do), besides not being able to cyber-window shop when I feel like it, I can't share the thoughts that just went through my head right as thier are flowing. So now as a consequence blogging is almost feeling like a job. Aside from the Thirty Day Challenge that I'm backed up about four days on, my blog is backed up on my thoughts. Needless to say, it's extemely annoying. Well today I plan on making up for everything I didn't share. You've been warned.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Silent Night
Tonight was supposed to be very peaceful. All day I've been running around handing in job applications and barely ate. So I picked up a slice of key lime cheesecake (my guilty pleasure) from The Cheesecake Factory and was looking forward to a relaxing night home. But noooo. I just HAD to go to my dad's house so that I could get a free meal. Now typically when I get to my dad's around 8 everyone is settled in their rooms and I have downstairs pretty much to myself. But not tonight my guy. My little sister has a project due tomorrow and didn't get home until 7, which means any other homework she needed to do she was doing when I walked in. To make matters worse, any time my dad is helping her with her hw and he sees me he automatically stops and says to her "well your big sister is here so I'm done"...cuz he just knows that I have nothing else to do (so what if I don't). I will say this. Helping with homework is one of the main things I'm not looking forward to when I have kids. I'm putting that on my husband. Might even put that in my marriage vows. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Ok, you know what, I did plan on coming over here at some point. I wanted to post a few blog entries about my day and yesterday...and no this isn't it. Needless to say, this night didn't go the way I planned. Guess I'll be trying again next week. Yes, next week because this cheesecake is quite expensive when you ain't got no damn job.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Keep It To Myself...
I was going to write something about him. I want to write something about him. But I won't. I won't, in fear that if this doesn't work out, to save myself the hurt or anger when this becomes an old post that I happened to come across. Nevertheless, I just want you to know that I wanted to write something about him.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 13
Day 13: A food you could live off
Once again, if you were expecting an answer, my apologies. Can't give you one my guy. Honestly I get tired of the food very easily. Wait before yall start to think I'm anorexic or something, let me rephrase that. I mean I get tired of the SAME food. And yea I'm pretty sure this isn't meant to be taken extremely literal, but just the thought of me living off of one food is literally making me kind of naseous. For the record, dramatic as that may have sounded, this is one of those rare times when I'm not exaggerating. I mean if I HAD to pick one, like really really HAD to I'd say chicken fingers. So mundane...you want something better? Well I don't know to tell ya.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Once again, if you were expecting an answer, my apologies. Can't give you one my guy. Honestly I get tired of the food very easily. Wait before yall start to think I'm anorexic or something, let me rephrase that. I mean I get tired of the SAME food. And yea I'm pretty sure this isn't meant to be taken extremely literal, but just the thought of me living off of one food is literally making me kind of naseous. For the record, dramatic as that may have sounded, this is one of those rare times when I'm not exaggerating. I mean if I HAD to pick one, like really really HAD to I'd say chicken fingers. So mundane...you want something better? Well I don't know to tell ya.
it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 12
Day 12: How you found out about Blogger, and what made you make one
How I found out about blogger? Hmm that's a good question cuz I really don't remember. I think one of my friends had one that I read from time to time. Yea, that sounds like that could be right. Yea, I stick with that. Now, what made me make one? Oh I remember THIS vividly. I just got out of this "situation" with this idiot who we'll call Wild Thornberries. (No, but that's seriously what my friends really called him.) When I'm pissed off about something I have to vent, and that's usually done by telling all my friends what happened. Well this time I ran out of friends to tell, so I created another one. I haven't been blogging about anything that's been pissing me off or complaining about anythinglately, don't know why. Actually no. I know why. It goes back to this issue of not having the internet at my fingertips. So by the time I get around to posting I'm already over it. But anyway, that's the story. I just needed another place to talk.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
How I found out about blogger? Hmm that's a good question cuz I really don't remember. I think one of my friends had one that I read from time to time. Yea, that sounds like that could be right. Yea, I stick with that. Now, what made me make one? Oh I remember THIS vividly. I just got out of this "situation" with this idiot who we'll call Wild Thornberries. (No, but that's seriously what my friends really called him.) When I'm pissed off about something I have to vent, and that's usually done by telling all my friends what happened. Well this time I ran out of friends to tell, so I created another one. I haven't been blogging about anything that's been pissing me off or complaining about anythinglately, don't know why. Actually no. I know why. It goes back to this issue of not having the internet at my fingertips. So by the time I get around to posting I'm already over it. But anyway, that's the story. I just needed another place to talk.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 11
Day 11: Something that nobody knows about you
It took me a while to think of this one. I really don't think there's much people don't know about me unless you just weren't paying attention. But I've come up with something. Unfortunately for you that were waiting for my answer you're not going to get it. If I didn't share so much of myself then I wouldn't mind. But thre is that 16% that I would like to keep to myself.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
It took me a while to think of this one. I really don't think there's much people don't know about me unless you just weren't paying attention. But I've come up with something. Unfortunately for you that were waiting for my answer you're not going to get it. If I didn't share so much of myself then I wouldn't mind. But thre is that 16% that I would like to keep to myself.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 10
Day 10: Songs that you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Ooooo yes! I like going on scavenger hunts. At least ones that I know it won't take me forever.
Happy: This one is easy. Off the bat, Usher - "Follow Me" and Whitney Houston - "One of Those Days". They just feel like "feel good" songs to me. I can't pinpoint what the "feel good" element of "Follow Me" is, but in "One of Those Days", well it's kind of obvious, it feels like just one of those really great days with your friends. Those days where nothing is planned, but the spontaneity of it made it so fun.
Sad: Pretty much any Fall Out Boy song. I don't know what it is about their songs, but if I'm feeling down they always seem to pick me back up. Could be the airdrums I'm going in on. Top 3: "The Takeover, the Break's Over" "27" "w.a.m.s"
Bored: At first I was going to change this to "Calm" or "Relaxed" because my first thought was what the frick? I listen to music when I'm bored...period. But then I remembered, when I'm bored I like to sing. And I don't just mean any songs. I'm talking about the songs I think I actually sound good singing: Jill Scott - "The Way", Usher - "Follow Me", Erykah Badu - "On and On", to name a few.
Hyped: Omarion - "Just Can't Let You Go"...every time I hear this I feel like diddy boppin lol. Kanye - "See Me Now"...they sound like they were having a blast while recording this. If they weren't I definitely would be if I made a video for it. And last but by no means least, definitely my main man Mike Jack. You want to see hype in under 60 seconds? I got you with 0-8.
Mad: For this one I'm going with the manhating songs (hate to be typical) or my WPs. Kelly Clarkson - "Never Again" fits both. If I'm trying to calm down though I'll put on some good ole gospel. "Still Have Joy" - Tye Tribbet, "Take It Back" - Dorinda Clark-Cole, and " Lord Will Make a Way Somehow" - Hezekiah Walker
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Ooooo yes! I like going on scavenger hunts. At least ones that I know it won't take me forever.
Happy: This one is easy. Off the bat, Usher - "Follow Me" and Whitney Houston - "One of Those Days". They just feel like "feel good" songs to me. I can't pinpoint what the "feel good" element of "Follow Me" is, but in "One of Those Days", well it's kind of obvious, it feels like just one of those really great days with your friends. Those days where nothing is planned, but the spontaneity of it made it so fun.
Sad: Pretty much any Fall Out Boy song. I don't know what it is about their songs, but if I'm feeling down they always seem to pick me back up. Could be the airdrums I'm going in on. Top 3: "The Takeover, the Break's Over" "27" "w.a.m.s"
Bored: At first I was going to change this to "Calm" or "Relaxed" because my first thought was what the frick? I listen to music when I'm bored...period. But then I remembered, when I'm bored I like to sing. And I don't just mean any songs. I'm talking about the songs I think I actually sound good singing: Jill Scott - "The Way", Usher - "Follow Me", Erykah Badu - "On and On", to name a few.
Hyped: Omarion - "Just Can't Let You Go"...every time I hear this I feel like diddy boppin lol. Kanye - "See Me Now"...they sound like they were having a blast while recording this. If they weren't I definitely would be if I made a video for it. And last but by no means least, definitely my main man Mike Jack. You want to see hype in under 60 seconds? I got you with 0-8.
Mad: For this one I'm going with the manhating songs (hate to be typical) or my WPs. Kelly Clarkson - "Never Again" fits both. If I'm trying to calm down though I'll put on some good ole gospel. "Still Have Joy" - Tye Tribbet, "Take It Back" - Dorinda Clark-Cole, and " Lord Will Make a Way Somehow" - Hezekiah Walker
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 9
Day 9: A website
First one the comes to mind: "Virgin Fingertips" (http://virginfingertips.blogspot.com). Remember those inspiration Temple grads I mentioned before? This is one of them. Her blog is like Pringles. Once you read one blog post you can't stop. Cliche' as that might sound it is the absolute truth. Her words are so full of wisdom, and when she's not doing some undercover enlightenting she's challenging you to think. Checking this blog has become as important as checking my email. No exaggeration...and you know how much I like to exaggerate. There's been times where I've been so tired and wanted to go home but I had to stay wherever I was accessing the internet from for another 5, 10 minutes because I just HAD to read the most recent post. So, unless you don't want to become completely addicted to it, I suggest you give "Virgin Fingertips" a read.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
First one the comes to mind: "Virgin Fingertips" (http://virginfingertips.blogspot.com). Remember those inspiration Temple grads I mentioned before? This is one of them. Her blog is like Pringles. Once you read one blog post you can't stop. Cliche' as that might sound it is the absolute truth. Her words are so full of wisdom, and when she's not doing some undercover enlightenting she's challenging you to think. Checking this blog has become as important as checking my email. No exaggeration...and you know how much I like to exaggerate. There's been times where I've been so tired and wanted to go home but I had to stay wherever I was accessing the internet from for another 5, 10 minutes because I just HAD to read the most recent post. So, unless you don't want to become completely addicted to it, I suggest you give "Virgin Fingertips" a read.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 8
Day 8: Your favorite book
For years my favorite book was easily "The Catcher in the Rye" by J. D. Salinger. I'm usually not a big fan of cynical people, but Holden Caulfield won me over with his sarcasm. If you can't tell by now, yes I have this thing for sarcasm...not when it's overdone and unnecessary though. Then there's the "secret adventure" that he was on in nyc for three days and getting in and out his house without his parents knowing. I have this thing for being near people you know without them knowing it. You might call it rude, I call it being inconspicuous. Well you put those two elements together and you have a winner, in my opinion.
Honorable Mentions: "The Color of Water" and "The Great Gatsby"
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
For years my favorite book was easily "The Catcher in the Rye" by J. D. Salinger. I'm usually not a big fan of cynical people, but Holden Caulfield won me over with his sarcasm. If you can't tell by now, yes I have this thing for sarcasm...not when it's overdone and unnecessary though. Then there's the "secret adventure" that he was on in nyc for three days and getting in and out his house without his parents knowing. I have this thing for being near people you know without them knowing it. You might call it rude, I call it being inconspicuous. Well you put those two elements together and you have a winner, in my opinion.
Honorable Mentions: "The Color of Water" and "The Great Gatsby"
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 7
Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
This one is pretty simple...
In case you didn't know, that "T" stands for Temple University and ambition is what my alma mater is full of. There are so many people that have walked the grounds of this school that inspire me everyday. Everyday I'm hearing of someone that is trying to accomplish his or her dream and won't stop until it has been reached. Unfortunately, this slump in unemployment is prolonging my journey, but I can't wait for the day where someone tells me that I inspired them.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
This one is pretty simple...
In case you didn't know, that "T" stands for Temple University and ambition is what my alma mater is full of. There are so many people that have walked the grounds of this school that inspire me everyday. Everyday I'm hearing of someone that is trying to accomplish his or her dream and won't stop until it has been reached. Unfortunately, this slump in unemployment is prolonging my journey, but I can't wait for the day where someone tells me that I inspired them.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Before I Continue...
Ok so I know I'm a few days backed up on this 30-day challenge, but uuum I don't have any internet as my current place of residence (long story for another post). So being that I have no internet I honestly don't feel like coming over my dad's or my mom's everyday just to post a blog. HOWEVER, since a million thoughts are running through my mind each day, along with the challenge, so that's the explanation for three posts at once that are kind of short sometimes. Anyway, I'm off to doing this backed up posts.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Correction! Correction!
Yeaaaa so I definitely messed up on my Top 5. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" is definitely like #2. Bump "Next Friday" to #6 for today. Don't know how I left "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" out. That's always in at least top 3, no matter what day. Just had to give that correction.
...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES
...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 6
Day 6: Favorite Superhero and why
If we were basing this on movies, hands down it would be Ironman. Buuut since we're not I'm going to have to go with Space Ghost. Yes, Space Ghost. And I'm dead serious. Besides him being a crime-fighter, the man is a talk show host. How many superheros can you say have their own talk show? I mean yea, most of them do have a day job...you gotta pay the bills someway. But Space Ghost's talk show is a late night talk show, which means he has to multitask since most crime-fighting takes place at night. And yes I know he was in outer space...this doesn't make a difference in my reasoning. Now I don't know about you but I think that's putting in work. Not to mention his guests are that bad either.
Ok, I'll admit, I had trouble keeping a straight face while writing that last paragraph. But that doesn't mean I was bsing. He really is my favorite...right next to Quailman (because I love Doug).
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
If we were basing this on movies, hands down it would be Ironman. Buuut since we're not I'm going to have to go with Space Ghost. Yes, Space Ghost. And I'm dead serious. Besides him being a crime-fighter, the man is a talk show host. How many superheros can you say have their own talk show? I mean yea, most of them do have a day job...you gotta pay the bills someway. But Space Ghost's talk show is a late night talk show, which means he has to multitask since most crime-fighting takes place at night. And yes I know he was in outer space...this doesn't make a difference in my reasoning. Now I don't know about you but I think that's putting in work. Not to mention his guests are that bad either.
Ok, I'll admit, I had trouble keeping a straight face while writing that last paragraph. But that doesn't mean I was bsing. He really is my favorite...right next to Quailman (because I love Doug).
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 5
Day 5 (a day late, so what lol): Favorite Movie
Before I tell you my favorite movie I have to tell you about me and "favorites". I never have just ONE favorite. I always have a top 3 or 5 so my exact favorite really just depends on the day. For example, I had Lucky Charms today. That's my #2 favorite cereal...today. It might just be #1 on Thursday...who knows.
Anyway, on to my top 5 movies. In no particular order: "School of Rock", "Crooklyn", "Ocean's Eleven", "Anchorman", and "Next Friday". So what's the favorite for today? Drumroll please....."Ocean's Eleven". Why "Ocean's Eleven"? I'm in a somber type of mood today. Ok so I guess this is where I give the explanation as to why it's my fav. Well I love sarcasm, which "Ocean's 11" is full of. Plus I like heist movies. I think it's more of the planning and seeing the execution that I like, but heist movies always have this element. You can't go wrong with a heist movie.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Before I tell you my favorite movie I have to tell you about me and "favorites". I never have just ONE favorite. I always have a top 3 or 5 so my exact favorite really just depends on the day. For example, I had Lucky Charms today. That's my #2 favorite cereal...today. It might just be #1 on Thursday...who knows.
Anyway, on to my top 5 movies. In no particular order: "School of Rock", "Crooklyn", "Ocean's Eleven", "Anchorman", and "Next Friday". So what's the favorite for today? Drumroll please....."Ocean's Eleven". Why "Ocean's Eleven"? I'm in a somber type of mood today. Ok so I guess this is where I give the explanation as to why it's my fav. Well I love sarcasm, which "Ocean's 11" is full of. Plus I like heist movies. I think it's more of the planning and seeing the execution that I like, but heist movies always have this element. You can't go wrong with a heist movie.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 4
Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn't have
At first I thought this was going to take a while to come up with, and then it hit me...I'm the queen of procrastination. Thanks to procrastination there were probably a number of opportunites I've missed out on, many a nights I could have slept, and so many times I could've avoided getting yelled at. When it comes to doing work, like homework, I can't help but wait until the last minute. I actually tried to start this paper one time, days before it was due but I was finding everything in the world to distract me. Eventually I just gave up and did it the night before like I usually do. Even when it comes to getting dressed procrastination is there. Everybody thinks it takes me forever to get dressed. In reality, I can get dressed in no time...it just takes me forever to get UP to get dressed. Procrastination has been with me for as long as I can remember. I remember getting yelled at by my parents for giving them school slips that requested money the day before it was due, knowing damn well I would have the slip for at least a week...and so did they. I have tried to at least decrease this habit but I might just need professional help to get rid of this disease.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
At first I thought this was going to take a while to come up with, and then it hit me...I'm the queen of procrastination. Thanks to procrastination there were probably a number of opportunites I've missed out on, many a nights I could have slept, and so many times I could've avoided getting yelled at. When it comes to doing work, like homework, I can't help but wait until the last minute. I actually tried to start this paper one time, days before it was due but I was finding everything in the world to distract me. Eventually I just gave up and did it the night before like I usually do. Even when it comes to getting dressed procrastination is there. Everybody thinks it takes me forever to get dressed. In reality, I can get dressed in no time...it just takes me forever to get UP to get dressed. Procrastination has been with me for as long as I can remember. I remember getting yelled at by my parents for giving them school slips that requested money the day before it was due, knowing damn well I would have the slip for at least a week...and so did they. I have tried to at least decrease this habit but I might just need professional help to get rid of this disease.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 3
Day 3: Top 5 Favorite Youtube videos
When you think Youtube videos you think funny. Well all of these aren't going to be funny. Yea that even sounds weird hearing myself say that (you know I love funny). But without further adieu:
Number Five:
This might be the first video I ever favorited on Youtube. This lil boy is going off on the cashier. Has me dying every time.
IV:
First time I saw this one I was crying. Little stuff like this makes me laugh. And I'm CONVINCED my man broke his back haha.
C:
As I've said many times, I love to dance. Most of the times this love for dancing occurs in my room, in my mirror. On my bored Thursday nights I would look for dance videos and start going to work lol (judge if you want...I'm not caring). Of all the ones I learned this was my favorite.
Deux:
Ok there's a tie for #2. Both of these videos I watched everyday for maybe two weeks straight. Funniest part about them is neither one of the men in these videos were TRYING to be funny. They were deadass serious. Kind of reminds me of when my friends laugh at me. I can say a good 76% of the time I'm being dead serious. Coincidentally I came across each at a time when I was really bothered by something (probably a damn boy) Well they say laughter is the best medicine...and they definitely worked.
Aaand #1:
I still remember this day. All day I was nervous waiting for the outcome. What made it better is that I got to witness this with the people that wanted the same outcome as me. I still remember this moment. This is the exact channel we were watching in the SAC. At 1:37 is when Temple University, along with the city of Philadelphia, went crazy with joy. And then the celebration down Broad Street began. I'm glad and so proud to say that I took part in a moment in history.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
When you think Youtube videos you think funny. Well all of these aren't going to be funny. Yea that even sounds weird hearing myself say that (you know I love funny). But without further adieu:
Number Five:
This might be the first video I ever favorited on Youtube. This lil boy is going off on the cashier. Has me dying every time.
IV:
First time I saw this one I was crying. Little stuff like this makes me laugh. And I'm CONVINCED my man broke his back haha.
C:
As I've said many times, I love to dance. Most of the times this love for dancing occurs in my room, in my mirror. On my bored Thursday nights I would look for dance videos and start going to work lol (judge if you want...I'm not caring). Of all the ones I learned this was my favorite.
Deux:
Ok there's a tie for #2. Both of these videos I watched everyday for maybe two weeks straight. Funniest part about them is neither one of the men in these videos were TRYING to be funny. They were deadass serious. Kind of reminds me of when my friends laugh at me. I can say a good 76% of the time I'm being dead serious. Coincidentally I came across each at a time when I was really bothered by something (probably a damn boy) Well they say laughter is the best medicine...and they definitely worked.
Aaand #1:
I still remember this day. All day I was nervous waiting for the outcome. What made it better is that I got to witness this with the people that wanted the same outcome as me. I still remember this moment. This is the exact channel we were watching in the SAC. At 1:37 is when Temple University, along with the city of Philadelphia, went crazy with joy. And then the celebration down Broad Street began. I'm glad and so proud to say that I took part in a moment in history.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Home Sweet Home...
Lately I've really been thinking about moving back to Philadelphia. The two main reasons being, most of my friends are there and more than likely could've had a job by now. Granted, most of my friends are still there because they're still in school, but every single one of them plans on staying in Philly afterward. Now my friends here...they might as well live in Philly too because that's how often I see them. Pretty much everyday I spend the day with myself and if you know anything about me you know I can't not be around my friends (yea this includes my sister and my cousins, yea yea watev) for too long. I have no chance to be an idiot, and honestly I live for making my friends laugh. At first I thought this was the reason I wanted to move back, so I tried to push it out of my mind, but then I started to realize that wasn't the only issue. By now you guys know how I'm feeling about this job search. This week I've been feeling better but I'm still kind of irritated. I'm pretty sure that if I was in Philly I could have been working by now. Each time I've gone to visit my old job all the coaches ask me about my job search, and then ask have I thought about coming back to Philly because they know of jobs they could hook me up with. So what's holding me back? Well for one, my dad. My uncle has brought up me going back to Philly a few times, and every time my dad shuts it down. His thing is he doesn't like the area and he doesn't want to "split up the family", especially with my sister being in school. As far as the area, yea I hate it too. But I have a car now so as long as I can bring it with me I can live in a nice area (which we be kinda far from everyone) and easily commute. Now as far as the family issue, I'm not with them everyday anyway and I really don't think he realizes how much I'm actually by myself. The other thing holding me back is grad school. This isn't as much of an issue as my dad though. As of now, I plan on going to either Hofstra or St. John's for grad. This lawyer I worked for over winter break teaches at St. John's so he's really trying to get me in there. He wants me to start in January, but unless I'm taking nonmatriculated classes (which will probably happen) then I'm not going until next September. At the same time though I could always apply to Temple and see if I get in. At least with that, even if I don't have a job by then I know I could get my old job back working in the basketball office. Nevertheless, I'm going to think about it for another month before I bring it up to my parents. I'll probably talk to my uncle about it soon though because he helps my thinking process sometimes. Ultimately though I can't let this bother me for too long.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 2
Day 2: The meaning behind your blog name
Well for once this might be short lol. The meaning behind "It's Spelled Brittanee" is pretty simple. People spell my name incorrectly all the time, so I just made it easy.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Well for once this might be short lol. The meaning behind "It's Spelled Brittanee" is pretty simple. People spell my name incorrectly all the time, so I just made it easy.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge: Day 1
So I've been seeing this 30 Day Challenge alot. Long story short, I'm going to do it too. Plus I like these type of things.
Day 1: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Well since I just gave you a list of 29 facts about me (you can decide if they're interesting or not) I'll spare you another 15. That would just be Brittanee overload if I did...and even I don't want to see that. However, the picture...the picture I can do for you.
Day 1: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Well since I just gave you a list of 29 facts about me (you can decide if they're interesting or not) I'll spare you another 15. That would just be Brittanee overload if I did...and even I don't want to see that. However, the picture...the picture I can do for you.
It's Not Supposed to Make Sense
{Since (almost) every sentence will begin with "I" I'm not going to write it, it will be implied.}
1. Like writing in the morning when I first wake up, without my glasses on. What makes it interesting is that I can't see without my glasses or contacts on after the first 11 minutes of being up.
2. If I'm just waking up and I know I'm going to have a long phone convo I'll brush my teeth (even if I plan on going back to sleep).
3. "Plan" is the operative word in that last one, since I can't go back to sleep if I've been up for more than 18 minutes.
4. Can't take naps...unless I'm completely exhuasted. They give me headaches. If I do happen to take one, it won't last past 30 minutes.
5. Have to vacuum every one and a half weeks.
6. Shave my legs everyday....even in the winter.
7. Won't wear jeans if the temperature is over 74 degrees. Furthermore, I don't belive in wearing jeans during the summertime...no matter how cold it gets.
8. Paint my nails once a week. Whatever color I'm wearing this week I won't wear a shade of that color for another 4-6 weeks.
9. Don't like cheese...love grilled cheese sandwiches.
10. Very picky about long sleeves. If it doesn't go right past my sleeves it itches.
11. Whatever shirt I wear for pajamas I iron the first night.
12. The smell of reheated fried chicken makes me more nasueaus than shrimp...which I'm allergic to.
13. Probably will wear Lip Smackers chapstick til the day I die. Carmex is cool but I like the option of switching flavors. Problem? I dont' give a fuck! ::Bernie Mac voice::
14. Might drink a cup of juice just to have some ice.
15. Calling me weird is a compliment.
16. Make up words all the time. i.e. derf - a mix between an idiot and a jerk...the formulation of the word also came from idiot and jerk.
17. Rather you fart than burp. Farting makes me laugh. Burping is just utterly disgusting.
18. Love being in the spotlight...but I have to be pushed to be there.
19. Dont like when people give me praises about thing they don't really know about.
20. Made two correct self-diagnoses in the past three years...yet no one wants to give me the credit that I'm a genuis. (That's fine.)
21. Get annoyed very easily and I don't like to annoy people, nor do I like to be annoyed. If you can annoy me and make me laugh, or I don't mind annoying you, then we can be close.
22. Have 5 different handwritings...I only like 3. If I were to write this list down on paper you'd probably see 3...unless I was really trying.
23. Do mostly everything in 3's. I have four favorite numbers...none of them are the number 3.
24. Adore nicknames that have nothing to do with my first name. Besides "Britt" (which is eh), I hate them.
25. Think I have an obsession with mustard colored clothing...but I have three yellow dress that I've never worn.
26. Don't believe in bad luck...but if I leave my house without my rings I automatically think the day will go wrong.
27. Thought about calling this blog "It's Not Supposed to Make Sense" but the phrase and my name are synonymous already.
28. Love when people learn things about me through their own observations. But I make that pretty hard to accomplish since I'll tell you so much about me pretty quickly. Never was a closed book.
29. Except for professional reasons or if I wasn't paying attention, I will never use or end anything in a non-random number.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
1. Like writing in the morning when I first wake up, without my glasses on. What makes it interesting is that I can't see without my glasses or contacts on after the first 11 minutes of being up.
2. If I'm just waking up and I know I'm going to have a long phone convo I'll brush my teeth (even if I plan on going back to sleep).
3. "Plan" is the operative word in that last one, since I can't go back to sleep if I've been up for more than 18 minutes.
4. Can't take naps...unless I'm completely exhuasted. They give me headaches. If I do happen to take one, it won't last past 30 minutes.
5. Have to vacuum every one and a half weeks.
6. Shave my legs everyday....even in the winter.
7. Won't wear jeans if the temperature is over 74 degrees. Furthermore, I don't belive in wearing jeans during the summertime...no matter how cold it gets.
8. Paint my nails once a week. Whatever color I'm wearing this week I won't wear a shade of that color for another 4-6 weeks.
9. Don't like cheese...love grilled cheese sandwiches.
10. Very picky about long sleeves. If it doesn't go right past my sleeves it itches.
11. Whatever shirt I wear for pajamas I iron the first night.
12. The smell of reheated fried chicken makes me more nasueaus than shrimp...which I'm allergic to.
13. Probably will wear Lip Smackers chapstick til the day I die. Carmex is cool but I like the option of switching flavors. Problem? I dont' give a fuck! ::Bernie Mac voice::
14. Might drink a cup of juice just to have some ice.
15. Calling me weird is a compliment.
16. Make up words all the time. i.e. derf - a mix between an idiot and a jerk...the formulation of the word also came from idiot and jerk.
17. Rather you fart than burp. Farting makes me laugh. Burping is just utterly disgusting.
18. Love being in the spotlight...but I have to be pushed to be there.
19. Dont like when people give me praises about thing they don't really know about.
20. Made two correct self-diagnoses in the past three years...yet no one wants to give me the credit that I'm a genuis. (That's fine.)
21. Get annoyed very easily and I don't like to annoy people, nor do I like to be annoyed. If you can annoy me and make me laugh, or I don't mind annoying you, then we can be close.
22. Have 5 different handwritings...I only like 3. If I were to write this list down on paper you'd probably see 3...unless I was really trying.
23. Do mostly everything in 3's. I have four favorite numbers...none of them are the number 3.
24. Adore nicknames that have nothing to do with my first name. Besides "Britt" (which is eh), I hate them.
25. Think I have an obsession with mustard colored clothing...but I have three yellow dress that I've never worn.
26. Don't believe in bad luck...but if I leave my house without my rings I automatically think the day will go wrong.
27. Thought about calling this blog "It's Not Supposed to Make Sense" but the phrase and my name are synonymous already.
28. Love when people learn things about me through their own observations. But I make that pretty hard to accomplish since I'll tell you so much about me pretty quickly. Never was a closed book.
29. Except for professional reasons or if I wasn't paying attention, I will never use or end anything in a non-random number.
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Keep Forgetting You're Not Superman
Poured my heart out just to have you say nothing...and that was my weekly reminder that you're still just a man.....it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Don't Say the "F" Word
It's been three months since I graduated...and I still don't have a job. Everyday I'm still here at this computer applying for jobs and getting nothing in return. Any possible job that I did have going for me was from connections through my dad. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem with my dad connecting me with people. Afterall, with this economy, it's beginning to be more and more about who you know and not what you know. So far I've had three possible job opportunities that got so close to me starting work but then falling through. Last week I found an opening for a secretary in the men's basketball department at St. John's University. I was so sure I had this one in the bag, for two reasons. One, that's exactly what I did all through college and two, my dad is really tight with the head basketball coach. I figured he would just call and that would be that. But the coach told him that they had an intern working for them and she'll probably get the job, but to bring me in anyway. Figures. At this point I'm beyond frustrated. For the past two weeks I've been waking up angry and I'm gettin sick of it. Sometimes I do want to say it, but I refuse to call myself a failure.
...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES (p.s. just realized I've never said this, but I never actually say this outloud, it's just the gesture lol)
...it's been real luvs ---> DUECES (p.s. just realized I've never said this, but I never actually say this outloud, it's just the gesture lol)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Afternoon Laugh
As I'm waiting for my videos to upload my grandpa comes in to give me my birthday card. (Just realized I never wrote about a great time that was. Yea that definitely didn't go my way, but I no longer feel like talking about it.) Of course I say thank you and his response "I could never forget your birthday." (-_____-) Soooo grandpa we're just going to forget how you called me 2 days after my birthday saying "Oh Britt Britt I mixed up the dates. I thought it was 9/28 and not 8/29". I died laughing at that moment and told him it was ok. It's still funny to me now. But come on grandpa, don't say you'll "never forget" when you clearly did (lol). Oh, and I bet you there's $22 in here. ::opens card:: Yup haha...never fails.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Six Hundred and Four Thousand, Eight Hundred Seconds
....10, 080 minutes, 168 hours, 7 days, 1 week. That's how much time I have to accomplish something great. Today I realized I know alot of pretty inspirational people, alot of driven people, and alot of hardworking people. Today I realized I know alot of people that make me feel like I've done nothing with myself. And today I realized I will change that. Someone tweeted today about getting her wedding planner license. There was a time when that was one of my goals. A time before my dad basically squashed it because he said I wouldn't make any money. But after that brief conversation with one of my followers I'm putting it back on my list. After all, I've gone through so many headaches from trying to get my dad and uncle to let my sister be about getting her degree in early childhood education because I know that's what she would love to do. So why should I give up on one of my dreams so easily? Then the boo tells me he's supposed to go on a 7 day fast from electronics, so of course that includes his phone. At first I semi-panicked since talking to him is one of my main forms of entertainment (yea still lacking internet and cable). As the convo continued, he started to stress himself out about not being able to fulfill all his life goals. And as usual I told him to stop worrying so much. Not because I don't want to hear it but because he's on the right path to fulfilling all his dreams and he doesn't even realize it. The kid had three jobs over the summer WHILE taking two classes...and the whole summer, when it really comes down to it, I haven't done shit. So as a result of all that accidental encouragment, starting tomorrow at 12 pm, I have until next Monday (9/20) at 12 pm to accomplish something great. I don't know what that "something great" will be just yet, but I have 11 hours to figure it out. I might write something, I might make something, I might choreograph something, I don't know. My "something great" might not be great in your eyes, or it might be a number of small things, but whatever it is I can say that I did it. I'm going to document it too with my webcam (unless I can get back my video camera that my mom has claimed as her own). At least this way I'll really be forced to go through with this (yes, I'm finally admitting that sometimes I have to be forced to do things). Well I'm gonna get started (yes, I said get started like it's not 1:30 am) on this brainstorming.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Sunday, September 5, 2010
You Win, I Lose...
Ok so I told him...well I didn't exactly verbalize it, but I made it pretty evident. Truthfully though I'm actually scared of what it could be. One of the things I was looking forward to with graduating was that if I did get into a relationship it wouldn't have to be long distance anymore. Of course, being the person that I am, that didn't work out to my favor. Possibly more than half of my relationships during college were long distance. So I guess the good thing with that is at least I know I can handle it. Bad thing is at least with those relationships (eventhough they didn't last) I knew we would be in the same place eventually. Unfortunately this time he's in Philly and probably will be there the rest of his life. I, however, have no intentions on moving back to Philly ever again. That's the first con. Second con: he's still in school, and will be for quite some time. (He's going to be in the medical field...yea, crazy schooling.) But it's still early. I'm not going to address the issues until it (possibly) gets serious. Only thing that matters right now is that he's a great person. And for the first time ever I have to worry about hurting him and not him hurting me. (Anything can happen though.) So what am I really scared of then? I'm scared to fall in love with someone whose face I can't see everyday, who I have to imagine I'm cuddling with, whose habits I can't learn. But for now we'll just play it by ear, take it day by day.
....it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
....it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
...And He Gets the Girl
You ever wanted to get rid of a thought but couldn't? Good or bad? When I say good I mean in the sense that nothing bad can come of it, you just don't necessarily want it to happen. Yea well this thought I have I guess is a good one. But I'm gonna try my hardest to deny it because then maybe it will go away. Honestly, I know it won't work but right now that's all I have as a defense mechanism.
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
...it's been real luvs --->DEUCES
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wasn't Gonna Do This
Was just starting to think it was safe
To let my thoughts roam free in this mental space
Had you locked away in the backroom to the right
The one with no windows to let in the sunlight
[Damn, I said I wasn't gonna do this.]
Figured if I left you in there long enough you'd die away
Afterall, all God's creatures need his nectar to remain
Ok, I'll admit I never really hid the key
Kept it under the door of the room where you'd be
{Can't believe I'm doing this.}
But you already knew all that
Cause you're standing here without a smile for your face to crack
Please don't go, first let me explain
And I hope you really listen because I don't want to say this in vain
[Am I really doing this?]
I'll cut the chit chat and make a long story short
You're the best thing that ever happened to me...and the worst.
So for that, pieces of my heart aren't over you yet
In other words, I'm not ready to play this game of forgive and forget
{Yea, I'm really doing this.}
So until then can you go back to that corner of my cranium
Sorry for the lack of company, I no longer care for the rest of them
But I'll leave the key right where you discovered it
As long as you promise to only come out once in a blue to hover a bit
[There's no way I'm gonna do this.]
Yea, I did say I was gonna explain, well I lied
I'm tryna be like you, you like it? I think it's fly
Well all jokes aside, this is where I bid you au dieu
Until you're ready to tell me the truth too
Then we'll have a do-over one of these days
But for now I need to close this door 'cause this is where I need you to stay
{I said I wasn't gonna do this....so I'm not.}
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
To let my thoughts roam free in this mental space
Had you locked away in the backroom to the right
The one with no windows to let in the sunlight
[Damn, I said I wasn't gonna do this.]
Figured if I left you in there long enough you'd die away
Afterall, all God's creatures need his nectar to remain
Ok, I'll admit I never really hid the key
Kept it under the door of the room where you'd be
{Can't believe I'm doing this.}
But you already knew all that
Cause you're standing here without a smile for your face to crack
Please don't go, first let me explain
And I hope you really listen because I don't want to say this in vain
[Am I really doing this?]
I'll cut the chit chat and make a long story short
You're the best thing that ever happened to me...and the worst.
So for that, pieces of my heart aren't over you yet
In other words, I'm not ready to play this game of forgive and forget
{Yea, I'm really doing this.}
So until then can you go back to that corner of my cranium
Sorry for the lack of company, I no longer care for the rest of them
But I'll leave the key right where you discovered it
As long as you promise to only come out once in a blue to hover a bit
[There's no way I'm gonna do this.]
Yea, I did say I was gonna explain, well I lied
I'm tryna be like you, you like it? I think it's fly
Well all jokes aside, this is where I bid you au dieu
Until you're ready to tell me the truth too
Then we'll have a do-over one of these days
But for now I need to close this door 'cause this is where I need you to stay
{I said I wasn't gonna do this....so I'm not.}
...it's been real luvs ---> DEUCES
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)